Our lives changed forever on April 10, 2002. William, Adam and I had to learn a new normal. We had to learn how to live each day without Jared being a part of it. The early days were hard. Our hearts were broken. Day by day, God gave us strength to live that day. The love of God, our family and friends soothed our aching hearts. As time passed, our new normal became normal. Our memories became special treasures that we cherish.
The words "We Remember" are engraved on Jared's grave marker. As I thought about those words, I decided to ask if family and friends of Jared would like to share things they remember about him. Some shared their special memories of Jared below...
Grandma Dess: On almost any day, but particularly on April 10th each year, my heart reaches back to 2002, that special day when we lost our precious Jared -- lost him to a brain tumor just one month before he would have turned 14. My heart aches still because the loss was so great, so inconceivable. I smile when I imagine Jared today, looking just like his Dad, William, as well as like his Grandpa Tom. Jared's Great Grandpa Lavender told us, "You will never get over losing Jared, but time will help all of you get around it." Grandpa Lavender was so right in his wisdom; Jared and Grandpa Lavender truly loved each other. And all of us loved and adored our beautiful Jared. Oh, Jared, dearest, we still love and miss you!
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| Jared and Grandpa Tom |
Grandpa Wayne and Grandma Wanda: Smiling in Heaven... Jared was a very special grandson. His Grandpa and I love him and Adam very much. We didn't get to spend much time together since they didn't live close by. But the times we did see them meant a whole lot. He was a smart boy and always happy. We remember the last Christmas Jared was with us. We gave him and Adam remote control motorcycles. They had a good time racing and crashing them. A lot of laughter and big smiles will always be remembered. We miss you, Jared, and will cherish you always. See you later.
Grandma Joyce: The good times we had together, taking walks and how he and Adam would help prepare the food and set the table, then help clean up. This happened when I came down and stayed while William and Lisa went to Ocala. Every afternoon when I picked them up at school, we would stop at that little park not far from the house. I enjoyed all of the times we spent together. Jared and I seemed to click and we chatted a lot about different things. I really enjoyed the both of them. Jared talked a lot more than Adam but I treasure the times we had together. I really miss him.
Grandpa Mark: Unfortunately, I wasn't around Jared as much as I would have liked to be but I do remember him as a bright active child growing into his teen years.
Two other memories are from his last year. One was in the summer prior to my heart surgery. I took the Class C motorhome to Gulf State Park. I think we had to stay on one of the back loops that Friday night but then moved to a nice circle off a loop near the entrance the next day. You came down and we had a camping dinner - someone made a potato casserole and I remember Jared going back for extra helpings. The second was on his way to Birmingham on what turned out to be his last trip. You and he stopped at our house for a visit. I seem to remember offering him an ice cream sandwich (or something like that) and he accepted with a great big smile. That's the last time I really talked to him although we were all optimistic that he would make it through the stem cell treatment.
He was sick and I was still recovering from my heart surgery so it was a troubled time and I'm
pretty sure tomorrow will be 13 years. Sadness coming back to me..
Aunt Debbie: His smile that lit up his eyes. That summer he loved potato casserole and snicker ice cream bars. How he never gave up fighting and always had a smile for you. His hugs. His love for his parents, brother, family and friends.
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| Adam and Jared |
Mrs. Tonya: Sweet and caring and always willing to help and stayed involved. I remember the song, "The Devil is Bad" and Jared lip syncing and dancing around the stage with the microphone. Jared was ambitious. He wanted to try everything from the band to football. Jared was a helper and steadfast! His passion, faith, and love for the Lord taught me, his children's pastor, so much about how we should live life.
Mandy: His patience and sincerity that he got from his parents. When we were around 10 or so, I came to spend the night with y'all. He was watching Star Wars which I had never seen. He spent like an hour explaining the ENTIRE saga to me, that was a LOT of info to cover. I had a million questions and even as a 10 year old, he just patiently sat there, explained and taught me everything. I think he enjoyed it. He always liked helping people and I think he could've been a wonderful teacher one day. Then I showed him how to make lanyards and he geniunely stopped to listen to me and focused on what I was now teaching him. It's a simple trivial memory, but when I think of him, it's the first one I have and my favorite because I think it's one of the few times that we actually had a deeper bond and connection. It's not a lot, but its something and it's my own little memory that I hold onto.
Kayla: I remember him being very caring. He was more sensitive than the other boys. He thought about others. He didn't pick on me like the other boys did. Haha. He was funny too! The boys always made goofy voices at each other. :) And I remember him looking up to Uncle William. He'd talk about the different hunting adventures they went on. :) I miss him. Oh and I remember he was my whiney buddy. He and I were very good at whining when we were younger. We wore our moms out. Haha.
Dustin: What I remember most about Jared is that he was always smiling. He was always happy and when you were around him you couldn't help but be the same. I sure do miss him!
Cody H.: Specifically, his smile. He had the smile that welcomed everyone and let them know that even though he didn't know them personally, he actually cared about them, portraying the love of Yahweh towards others. He had a heart for people and was passionate in everything he would devote his time to.
Mrs. Daphine: He was nice, polite, loved God, kind, enjoyed church, had a nice smile, strong. I will never forget his words, "I have no fear." He had great respect for his parents and other adults.
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| Jared |
Mrs. Michelle: He was always smiling. Most of the time it was a sweet looking smile. But sometimes it was a mischevious little smile. Still sweet but mischievous.
Commander Alan Tillman: Soft spoken. Quiet. Led by example in action rather than verbal. Assumed leadership responsibility when called upon to do so. He proved what it meant to live by the Ranger Code: Alert, clean, honest, courageous, loyal, courteous, obedient and spiritual. He learned that courage is not the absence of fear but the triumph over it.
Mrs. Wanda: The biggest thing for me is when he told Pastor Lynn and the church "No Fear". He trusted God had his best interest in mind. Jared was a wonderful influence on how to put your life in God's hands. I'll never forget that 13 year old boy ministering to the whole church that day. What a testimony!
Mrs. Diane: Well, an immediate smile came to my face when I read your message. So I think, for the short time we got to be around him, it would have to be his smile and the joy that came forth from him. He was all boy, and he seemed to just be in love with everything that came with that. Another thing I remember is how tickled I got when you told me how much he cared about his appearance at such a young age. Everything had to match, lol!
Mr. Mike and Mrs. Colleen: Mike remembers Jared being very shy, cute and lovable when he was young in Slidell and how well Adam and Jared got along with our boys. He didn't get to really know him after y'all moved. I remember thinking what a little cutie he is. A mini William. Also I told him how I struggled playing my trombone and he told me that if I would play the 2nd and 3rd parts of trombone music, it would help me. I thought my goodness, what a mature young man and confident! Also I thought what is it with this Florida Gator thing? Then years later, here comes Tim Tebow and I thought of Jared. I thought oh! Now I see why Jared loved the Gators so. Great memories.
Selena: Baby back baby back baby back ribs... I always remember watching Zorro at your house. I think it was one of Adam and Jared's favorite shows at the time. That's the only time I watched it when we visited but it was a big deal. I do remember that. I also remember when Jared was in the hospital I got one of those small books and when he was in ICU I went back there and read it to him... And it seems like maybe possibly Jared, Adam, Will and I had an all out water gun war with each other at one of your houses... pretty sure we got in trouble over that. I don't know. Just a couple of things that came to mind today... And those ham and cheese sandwiches you use to make when we would visit, and lots of ice cream... I've never been a ice cream person but I think we had ice cream a lot before we would go to bed when visiting your house...
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| Adam and Jared |
Marie: I remember his smile the most. He was always in a good mood when we were together. I remember always being happy around him. He also had a great personality and was so funny! He was like a brother to me. I just wanted to protect him and every year I watched him become a greater man of God. I miss those days when he would come up to me and say "no fear". To this day I say "no fear" if I am going through a strugge and just a little piece of Jared is there.
Jessica: I do have a great personal memory after Jared passed... At his funeral, I remember hearing the song you had chosen, "I CAN ONLY IMAGINE" for the first time. As the song was playing I was crying my eyes out but listening to the hopeful words. At that moment I started to understand what I had been told to disregard my whole life... faith. The song talks about how glorious it will be one day, to stand with our loved ones in heaven. In such despair and hopelessness, I learned that the only thing that will get you through is faith. Jared helped me open my heart to faith and the belief that one day I will see him and my other loved ones again. I don't know if I have every shared this with you but I will never forget that A YEAR TO THE DAY of Jared's passing, I was laying in the tanning bed (I know that's random) and I was thinking about Jared. I knew it was the one year anniversary and I was sad. At the exact moment I was thinking of him, the radio announced the next song was "I CAN ONLY IMAGINE" by Mercy Me. I got chills and cried and just could not believe what was happening. The next few weeks the song became popular in Nashville and they played it every day but I never got tired of it. I believed it was Jared reminding me to never disregard hope and faith.
"Has this world been so kind to you that you should leave with regret? There are better things ahead than any we leave behind." C.S. Lewis
Sandi: I remember Jared was always so kind and thoughtful. He was quiet until he got comfortable around you then he'd open up. He was definitely one that liked to hang out with the other boys & do boy things. He was such a good kid with a wonderful spirit.
Erich: Jared was truly what us Rangers were going for Alert, Clean, Honest, Courageous, Loyal, Courteous, Obedient, Spiritual. I remember the pinewood derby races and the Royal Ranger sleepovers at the church. Playing with remote controlled motorcycles at your house and talking on the phone teaching him how to make funny voices. He was funny, always happy. And I don't think I have ever seen him mad ever. And his smile it could light up any darkness.
Josh: Well, a big impact Jared made in my life was how he was always quick to stand up for me and include me when others may not have. Being the youngest and smallest at the time,that seemed to happen to me pretty often. He always seemed to make sure we were all included in what was going on. It meant a lot to have someone actually want you there when the other big kids didn't seem to (as kids will do). He and Adam were always so much fun. I learned a lot about myself, and he helped me grow up in ways I may have never had the chance to. I remember his love and contagious happiness. I won't every forget it!
Melanie: He always had such a sweet smile and had a very loving demeaner. I remember how much fun he and all the boys had in Royal Rangers, racing their little wooden cars. He would light up a room just walking in to it. I miss him.
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| Adam, William and Jared |
Aunt Rhonda: Where do I begin! Such a cute baby boy! Oh my goodness, He loved his mommy!!! He was definitely a momma's boy! He was so sweet and loving and sometimes a little sneaky! He was very smart! He excelled in whatever he put his mind to do. He had a very good memory, just like his beautiful smart mom! He was the first one to remember his Aunt Rhonda's favorite Starbucks drink... Tall, Non-Fat, No Foam, with Whip Cream Latte! That Smile... I can still see it when I think about that sweet face! He was courageous and FEARLESS and just a kid, but he changed my world and the way I look at life and death forever. He loved the Lord and trusted Him with everything. He was just like a little Superman! I'll never forget him! I'll see you again one day, Jared.
It is good to focus on Jared for a while. His life had so much meaning! Makes you wonder if you are making the most of every day??? Plan and Purpose...
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I am so thankful for the memories that our family and friends shared. They have helped make this an easier day for us.
We still miss Jared and still shed tears but we know that we will see him again one day. We can rest knowing that God's plans are always best. And we know that the best is yet to come..
