After the funeral service, we slowly went to our cars for the journey to the cemetery. Some came and gave us hugs and said goodbye.
When we reached the cemetery, we sat beside Jared's grave while Pastor Lynn spoke a few words. Soon it was time to go. More hugs and family members leaving for home.
Those that were able to stay went back to our church to eat. The ladies had prepared a meal for our family. What a spread of food and delicious too. I can remember eating chicken n' dumplings made by Sister Waters. I later told her what a blessing and witness they were to our family and friends. I will never forget.
After we ate, more hugs from family and friends leaving for home. The few that remained all went back to our house. We sat around and waited. Soon we were able to go back to the cemetery. The funeral home crew had left. The only sign of change was the freshly dug dirt covered with beautiful flowers by the tree near the open field. Our Jared's grave.
We stayed at the cemetery for a little while and then left for home. Rhonda, Doug and their children were staying the night. Some family visited and then left for home. It would soon be time to start our new normal.
_______________________________________________________________
Below is an essay that Jared wrote before his battle with cancer. I found this when going through old school papers after his death...
Some people say that we are Generation X. I believe we are Generation F, for future. We are the Generation of the future. In 20 or 30 years we will be the only people working to help our planet.
Abraham Lincoln said one time that he was happy about the future because it only came one day at a time. I bet he was happy that night sitting there with his wife in the audience, and then a man came and took Mr. Lincoln's future away from him.
When we grow up we could maybe invent something to prevent cancer. Everything takes time in this world. Someone in our school could be the next Albert Einstein and invent robots to do our chores and make dinner for us. Anything can happen in the future.
Everyone on this planet has a dream and if they want their dream to come true they need to work for it, and in the future, if they work hard enough, that dream might come true.
In the future everyone will have responsibilities. We have them now and we will have them then. If in the future you plan to have a wife and have children then you will have so many responsibilities you can't think. Sometimes now I even have responsibilities. I have to cook sometimes and I have to clean my room just about every day.
I believe that everyone is equal no matter what color their skin is, what color their hair is, how popular they are or how smart they are.
Everything that everyone does will make a difference. Some of us might be scientists and some of us might be baseball players and some of us might be geologist. For all we know someone could invent a cure for cancer tomorrow. Someone could be a scientist and invent a space station for us to live on and we could study other planets. In a few days or weeks or months or years we could find brand new planets that have just formed and we could find life out there in space.
Everything takes time and that is what we might not have enough of. We could become anything that we wanted to if we tried. I think you need to know what you want to do when you grow up at a young age so that you can work hard for it your whole life.
If you want to be a baseball player or a basketball player you need to work and practice and try out for all the sports teams you can.
My point is that anything can happen at any time and everyone needs to be ready for it because we are the future.
George Bernard Shaw said one time that, "You see things and you say why but I dream things that never were and I say why not."
If we just tried, in the future we can make anything come true.
___________________________________________________________
I'm going to take a break for a few days. Thanks for walking Jared's Story with me. I'll be writing soon.
God Bless You!
Lisa
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Saturday, April 14, 2012
April 13-14, 2002 (Saturday & Sunday)
Since coming home early Thursday morning, our house was filled with people, noise and activity. Most of our family members made the trip to celebrate and remember Jared. Our days were busy from morning to night.
We made funeral arrangements and decided what clothes Jared would wear. We picked an orange shirt since he was a Florida gator fan and khaki shorts. We went with a representative from the cemetery to pick out a burial site. We looked at sites with four spaces so we could put an upright monument on Jared's grave. We finally picked a spot that had a tree nearby and was close to an open field.
We also had to plan Jared's funeral service. We knew that our church sanctuary would not hold everyone that wanted to attend the funeral so Pastor Lynn asked another nearby church if we could hold Jared's funeral in their sanctuary. They were very gracious and allowed us to use their church.
We decided to have recorded instead of live music. We picked the songs "I Can Only Imagine" by Mercy Me and "Found a Place" by FFH. We needed one more song. I thought about the movie Cast Away and the instrumental music that Jared liked at the end. That led me to a CD by Steven Curtis Chapman that had an instrumental song that we both liked. While I was looking for the CD, Rhonda said it would be great if we could find a song that had a child singing the ABCs. We were thinking about that when I put in the CD. I started clicking the button to find the instrumental. As we went through the songs, we stopped as we heard a child's voice singing the ABCs. We had found the third song.We selected pictures of Jared to be shown during each song.
William had written a poem on the way home from the hospital that he was going to read. I wrote a few paragraphs about Jared and asked Michelle if she would read for me. Dess prepared the program for the funeral.
The wake was Saturday night. The family met at the funeral home at 5:00 and others came between 6:00 and 8:00. I don't remember my response when I first saw Jared. I do remember that I stood right beside his casket and greeted every family member as they can to see him. I did not make a conscious decision to stay there. I had to stay there and I was not going to leave. William and I decided to close the casket at 6:00 before others started to come in. We felt that Jared would want it that way. Once it was closed, I felt released to move away from the casket. I didn't go far.
William, Adam and I stood beside each other and greeted everyone as they came in to see Jared. We were in line for a long time. We were grateful for the love and support that was extended to our family. I remember one group of teenagers coming in. I guess they went to school with Jared. They left a bouquet of small yellow roses on top of the casket. (I still have them today.) The wake ended at 8:00. We went back to the house.
We have many talented musicians in our family. During the days leading up to the funeral, music could be heard coming from our garage as William's brothers and my Uncle Tom played their guitars and everyone sang. It was a good time of fellowship for everyone. I stayed inside mostly but went out every once in a while.
Another memory from our house full of family and friends involved our miniature pincher. Rudy is a beggar. He is drawn to the delightful smells of food, any food. With so many people in the house, Rudy was getting fed more than normal. His little belly started getting rounder and rounder. William's solution was to put a note on Rudy's collar that said, "Please don't feed me." I smile as I type and remember.
Funeral day arrived. William, Rhonda, Doug and I went to church. It was nice to be back. After church, we went to the house and then to the funeral home to see Jared again before the casket was closed for the last time. That was hard.
It was time to leave for the funeral. All of the family went to a back room in the church and waited. We were told it was time. I started to cry as we walked into the sanctuary but then stopped. I did not cry again.
We all sat down. The funeral began.
All of Jared's uncles, William Bazzell, David Sangster, John Sangster, Norman Sangster and Doug Hobbs served as pallbearers as well as Alan Tillman, Jared's commander in Royal Rangers (an Assemblies of God ministry for boys that is similar to Boy Scouts).
The Royal Rangers Honor Guard came in carrying flags. Jared was in Royal Rangers for many years.
Pastor Lynn greeted everyone and read Jared's obituary. I had asked him to warn everyone that the music would not be the normal funeral songs. He did reminding everyone that Jared was almost fourteen when he died.
We made funeral arrangements and decided what clothes Jared would wear. We picked an orange shirt since he was a Florida gator fan and khaki shorts. We went with a representative from the cemetery to pick out a burial site. We looked at sites with four spaces so we could put an upright monument on Jared's grave. We finally picked a spot that had a tree nearby and was close to an open field.
We also had to plan Jared's funeral service. We knew that our church sanctuary would not hold everyone that wanted to attend the funeral so Pastor Lynn asked another nearby church if we could hold Jared's funeral in their sanctuary. They were very gracious and allowed us to use their church.
We decided to have recorded instead of live music. We picked the songs "I Can Only Imagine" by Mercy Me and "Found a Place" by FFH. We needed one more song. I thought about the movie Cast Away and the instrumental music that Jared liked at the end. That led me to a CD by Steven Curtis Chapman that had an instrumental song that we both liked. While I was looking for the CD, Rhonda said it would be great if we could find a song that had a child singing the ABCs. We were thinking about that when I put in the CD. I started clicking the button to find the instrumental. As we went through the songs, we stopped as we heard a child's voice singing the ABCs. We had found the third song.We selected pictures of Jared to be shown during each song.
William had written a poem on the way home from the hospital that he was going to read. I wrote a few paragraphs about Jared and asked Michelle if she would read for me. Dess prepared the program for the funeral.
The wake was Saturday night. The family met at the funeral home at 5:00 and others came between 6:00 and 8:00. I don't remember my response when I first saw Jared. I do remember that I stood right beside his casket and greeted every family member as they can to see him. I did not make a conscious decision to stay there. I had to stay there and I was not going to leave. William and I decided to close the casket at 6:00 before others started to come in. We felt that Jared would want it that way. Once it was closed, I felt released to move away from the casket. I didn't go far.
William, Adam and I stood beside each other and greeted everyone as they came in to see Jared. We were in line for a long time. We were grateful for the love and support that was extended to our family. I remember one group of teenagers coming in. I guess they went to school with Jared. They left a bouquet of small yellow roses on top of the casket. (I still have them today.) The wake ended at 8:00. We went back to the house.
We have many talented musicians in our family. During the days leading up to the funeral, music could be heard coming from our garage as William's brothers and my Uncle Tom played their guitars and everyone sang. It was a good time of fellowship for everyone. I stayed inside mostly but went out every once in a while.
Another memory from our house full of family and friends involved our miniature pincher. Rudy is a beggar. He is drawn to the delightful smells of food, any food. With so many people in the house, Rudy was getting fed more than normal. His little belly started getting rounder and rounder. William's solution was to put a note on Rudy's collar that said, "Please don't feed me." I smile as I type and remember.
Funeral day arrived. William, Rhonda, Doug and I went to church. It was nice to be back. After church, we went to the house and then to the funeral home to see Jared again before the casket was closed for the last time. That was hard.
It was time to leave for the funeral. All of the family went to a back room in the church and waited. We were told it was time. I started to cry as we walked into the sanctuary but then stopped. I did not cry again.
We all sat down. The funeral began.
All of Jared's uncles, William Bazzell, David Sangster, John Sangster, Norman Sangster and Doug Hobbs served as pallbearers as well as Alan Tillman, Jared's commander in Royal Rangers (an Assemblies of God ministry for boys that is similar to Boy Scouts).
The Royal Rangers Honor Guard came in carrying flags. Jared was in Royal Rangers for many years.
Pastor Lynn greeted everyone and read Jared's obituary. I had asked him to warn everyone that the music would not be the normal funeral songs. He did reminding everyone that Jared was almost fourteen when he died.
The first song played: "I Can Only Imagine" by Mercy Me
William then went to the podium and read his poem:
"The Perfect Son"
This is a short story
about a perfect son,
who left behind
"a perfect brother"
and "a perfect mother."
It all started back
in May of 2001,
When a brain tumor was found
in my perfect son.
Jared was knocked down
but kept standing back up,
by surgery, by chemo,
by radiation and such.
He had courage, was brave,
and still kept his cool.
Jared even continued
his studying and school.
He had shot after shot,
pain with more pain,
and still stood up
and didn't even complain.
People from all over
came to his side,
they offered our family
help with this amazing ride.
People are perfect
in more ways than one,
just ask me, my wife,
or my other perfect son.
We were told
a stem cell transplant
would be the answer
to his cancer.
All along,
We didn't know,
that this would be
Jared's "Final Blow."
During his treatment,
his liver became sick
and this caused other problems
which happened real quick.
My perfect son, Jared,
continued his fight
with perfect friends,
family and nice people-
shining a helpful light.
Jared's body quit working
on April 10, 2002,
in the afternoon
at 5:22.
My perfect son, Jared
gave me his last live hug,
when I had him in my arms
he passed away.
I'm proud of Jared
and I'm sure most of you are, too.
I'm very thankful to my family,
my friends and perfect people like you.
You see, my son, Jared was perfect
and his mother, Lisa, is too.
His older brother, Adam, is perfect
and so are nice people like you.
-WRS-
The second song played: "With Hope" by Steven Curtis Chapman
Michelle Murphy came to the podium to read:
"Mom's Remembrance"
Today I celebrate, remember and honor the life of my son, Jared Michael Sangster. His life on this earth was short but nevertheless he made a tremendous impact on many. My journey with Jared began on Mother's day, may 8, 1988. A special gift on a special day. He was a delightful baby; sweet tempered, doing all the normal things that babies do. As he grew, Jared delighted us all with his sunny smile and very strong will. He faced many challenges. He had eczema, a skin condition, as well as asthma, which required many trips to the doctor. Through everything, Jared endeared himself to his family each and every day.
Jared's battle with cancer began in May of last year. He handled himself with grace and strength. All along the way, he did what he had to do, chemo, radiation, and eventually a stem cell transplant. I consider it an honor that I made this journey with him. Looking back, I see that Jared made so many things easier for me because he never complained. He had his bad days but Jared never refused to do the necessary procedures, treatments, and surgeries that were part of his life. He knew what he had to do and he did it.
When I told Jared at the very beginning that he had cancer, he looked at me with a small grin and said, "no fear." Those two words say a lot about Jared. Even though at times he did have fear, he would refuse to give in to it. We would talk about whatever was bothering him, pray, and then continue with our day. Jared's faith in God gave him strength to endure. Now, his faith has given him a new home in heaven. I will miss him but I will see him again one day. -LOS-
Pastor Lynn then spoke words of hope and comfort to everyone.
The last song played: "Found a Place" by FFH
Jared's Message was played (William compiled from messages Jared sent in December 2001)
"This is Jared... Thanks for the gifts that you gave to my family. It helped out a lot. Thank you very much. There are a lot of nice people in this world and you must be one of them.
I look forward to seeing you soon."
Pastor Lynn closed with prayer.
I'll continue tomorrow. Have a blessed Sunday. He is risen.
Thursday, April 12, 2012
April 11-12, 2002 (Thursday and Friday)
The days after Jared died are a blur. I can remember events but not sure of what day they happened. I'll do my best but will probably get things mixed up a little bit...
We were up early on Thursday. Mrs. Weaver, Jared's tutor, came by to see us. When she walked in we just hugged and cried. She stayed for a little while.
People dropped in, left food, gave hugs, let us know they cared.
We were waiting for Jared's body to arrive from Birmingham before we made final arrangements. Family members started making travel plans but were waiting for details. After meeting with Sherri from the funeral home, we decided the wake would be Saturday night and the funeral would be Sunday afternoon at 2:00.
Pastor Lynn was very helpful with arrangements. He helped us with selecting a funeral home as well as a local cemetery which is about a mile from our house. William and I were very thankful.
___________________________________________________
I have so many thoughts of things to share but will end tonight with emails that I sent and received...
From: Lisa, William and Adam
Sent: April 11, 2002 12:36 p.m.
Subject: Jared
Hello everyone! I'm writing this from home. Jared died yesterday, April 10, 2002, at 5:22 p.m. He was surrounded by his loving family and in his dad's arms. Jared is a special son. We will miss him but we know that we will see him again one day. Thanks for ALL THE MANY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS that were sent our way. They have been a comfort to us. Sometimes we don't understand why things happen but "We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him..." God Bless All of You!
Love,
William, Lisa, Adam & JARED :)
From: Tiffany, Brianna and Jordan
Re: Jared
I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I know it is hard to find comfort in this horrible time but at least he is in a better place in heaven. You and your family are in our prayers. Love you all.
From: Josh C.
Re: Jared
Hey. How are ya'll doing. I'm sorry about Jared. Just remember that he is in a better place now. The church was praying for ya'll Wednesday. If you ever need anything don't forget that we are here and so is the church.
Yours Truly,
Josh
From: Bobbie
Re: Jared
I want to express my deepest sympathy to you and your family... I received the news from my sister (Rhonda). She has been keeping me informed about Jared. I too have lost a son and I know that there are no words that will ease the pain of this loss. However, I do want you to know that you are in my prayers... May God bless and keep you, give you comfort and peace in this time of sorrow.
From: Diane
Re: Jared
Dear Lisa and Family. I am so sad to hear about Jared. My heart is breaking for you. I know that God has him in the palm of his hand now, and he is completely healed! Thank you so much for keeping up with the news and including us in your updates. We're still praying for your family, for comfort and peace.
Love,
Diane
From: Karen B. (Dr. Reddy's Assistant)
Re: Jared
Hey Lisa. So sweet to hear from you. Our thoughts and prayers are with you all through this time of adjustment. Jared was such a special wonderful child. You guys were truly blessed to have such a wonderful family and with your good memories, I know you will be fine. Time will help but may not ever feel as though you are "healed". There will always be something missing, but we just have to think about that sweet smile and sweet boy and the many special moments you had with him, even at the end. Be sure to tell William and Adam we send our love too. If you want to talk, anytime, please call me. I'm here for you. I love you guys and hope I will still get to see you sometime.
Love,
Karen
From: Janet
Re: Jared
We love you and are praying for each one of you. Stand Still and see the Hand of God... You have been asked of God to do a great and mighty deed. May He bless and keep you in His hands as He works thru each of you.
Love,
Tom, Janet, Melynn, Kimie, April
We were up early on Thursday. Mrs. Weaver, Jared's tutor, came by to see us. When she walked in we just hugged and cried. She stayed for a little while.
People dropped in, left food, gave hugs, let us know they cared.
We were waiting for Jared's body to arrive from Birmingham before we made final arrangements. Family members started making travel plans but were waiting for details. After meeting with Sherri from the funeral home, we decided the wake would be Saturday night and the funeral would be Sunday afternoon at 2:00.
Pastor Lynn was very helpful with arrangements. He helped us with selecting a funeral home as well as a local cemetery which is about a mile from our house. William and I were very thankful.
___________________________________________________
I have so many thoughts of things to share but will end tonight with emails that I sent and received...
From: Lisa, William and Adam
Sent: April 11, 2002 12:36 p.m.
Subject: Jared
Hello everyone! I'm writing this from home. Jared died yesterday, April 10, 2002, at 5:22 p.m. He was surrounded by his loving family and in his dad's arms. Jared is a special son. We will miss him but we know that we will see him again one day. Thanks for ALL THE MANY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS that were sent our way. They have been a comfort to us. Sometimes we don't understand why things happen but "We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him..." God Bless All of You!
Love,
William, Lisa, Adam & JARED :)
From: Tiffany, Brianna and Jordan
Re: Jared
I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I know it is hard to find comfort in this horrible time but at least he is in a better place in heaven. You and your family are in our prayers. Love you all.
From: Josh C.
Re: Jared
Hey. How are ya'll doing. I'm sorry about Jared. Just remember that he is in a better place now. The church was praying for ya'll Wednesday. If you ever need anything don't forget that we are here and so is the church.
Yours Truly,
Josh
From: Bobbie
Re: Jared
I want to express my deepest sympathy to you and your family... I received the news from my sister (Rhonda). She has been keeping me informed about Jared. I too have lost a son and I know that there are no words that will ease the pain of this loss. However, I do want you to know that you are in my prayers... May God bless and keep you, give you comfort and peace in this time of sorrow.
From: Diane
Re: Jared
Dear Lisa and Family. I am so sad to hear about Jared. My heart is breaking for you. I know that God has him in the palm of his hand now, and he is completely healed! Thank you so much for keeping up with the news and including us in your updates. We're still praying for your family, for comfort and peace.
Love,
Diane
From: Karen B. (Dr. Reddy's Assistant)
Re: Jared
Hey Lisa. So sweet to hear from you. Our thoughts and prayers are with you all through this time of adjustment. Jared was such a special wonderful child. You guys were truly blessed to have such a wonderful family and with your good memories, I know you will be fine. Time will help but may not ever feel as though you are "healed". There will always be something missing, but we just have to think about that sweet smile and sweet boy and the many special moments you had with him, even at the end. Be sure to tell William and Adam we send our love too. If you want to talk, anytime, please call me. I'm here for you. I love you guys and hope I will still get to see you sometime.
Love,
Karen
From: Janet
Re: Jared
We love you and are praying for each one of you. Stand Still and see the Hand of God... You have been asked of God to do a great and mighty deed. May He bless and keep you in His hands as He works thru each of you.
Love,
Tom, Janet, Melynn, Kimie, April
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Reflections (April 11, 2012)
I'm struggling trying to decide what to write. I don't have my handy journal to help.
How did we spend yesterday? We made it through. Much support from family and friends... just like ten years ago.
William was working last night so Adam and I watched Cast Away. That movie is special to me. I saw it first with Jared in our stem cell room. I can remember sitting in the room with the lights out. We watched and listened. At the end of the movie, Jared remarked how much he liked the music. Last night when the movie ended, I sat in my chair, listened to the music and remembered that night. I cried. I remembered. I ached for my little boy. Even after ten years there are times when it feels just like yesterday.
Rhonda, William, Adam and I also watched the movie while Jared was in PICU. We had discussions about certain scenes and what we thought it meant. The scene we talked about the most is near the end of the movie. Chuck, the main character, is back home after being on a deserted island for four years. His girlfriend, Kelly, has married while he was gone and started a new life. Chuck is telling his friend about being on the island and how he survived. He had a feeling that he would get off the island even though logic told him that he would die there. He told his friend that he just kept breathing, taking one breath after another. One day a big sheet of plastic washed up on the shore and he was able to use it as a sail on a raft he built. This led to his rescue and return home.
He ends the story telling his friend that sometimes you just keep breathing because you never know what the tide will bring in.
That is so true. Sometimes things happen in our lives and the pain is so great that even breathing takes effort. But we must keep breathing and trusting that God will send exactly what we need at just the right time.
I had two people tell me the day after Jared died to just breathe. And that is what I did.
Because the sun rose the day after Jared died, people went to work, got married, had children, hugged, laughed, kissed, lived life. The world did not stop the day Jared died so we all had to keep going too.
I will give more details from ten years ago tomorrow.
Have a great night/day. Keep breathing and trusting. :)
How did we spend yesterday? We made it through. Much support from family and friends... just like ten years ago.
William was working last night so Adam and I watched Cast Away. That movie is special to me. I saw it first with Jared in our stem cell room. I can remember sitting in the room with the lights out. We watched and listened. At the end of the movie, Jared remarked how much he liked the music. Last night when the movie ended, I sat in my chair, listened to the music and remembered that night. I cried. I remembered. I ached for my little boy. Even after ten years there are times when it feels just like yesterday.
Rhonda, William, Adam and I also watched the movie while Jared was in PICU. We had discussions about certain scenes and what we thought it meant. The scene we talked about the most is near the end of the movie. Chuck, the main character, is back home after being on a deserted island for four years. His girlfriend, Kelly, has married while he was gone and started a new life. Chuck is telling his friend about being on the island and how he survived. He had a feeling that he would get off the island even though logic told him that he would die there. He told his friend that he just kept breathing, taking one breath after another. One day a big sheet of plastic washed up on the shore and he was able to use it as a sail on a raft he built. This led to his rescue and return home.
He ends the story telling his friend that sometimes you just keep breathing because you never know what the tide will bring in.
That is so true. Sometimes things happen in our lives and the pain is so great that even breathing takes effort. But we must keep breathing and trusting that God will send exactly what we need at just the right time.
I had two people tell me the day after Jared died to just breathe. And that is what I did.
Because the sun rose the day after Jared died, people went to work, got married, had children, hugged, laughed, kissed, lived life. The world did not stop the day Jared died so we all had to keep going too.
I will give more details from ten years ago tomorrow.
Have a great night/day. Keep breathing and trusting. :)
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
April 10, 2002 (Wednesday)
Day 46
It is now 12:00 noon. After seeing Jared last night, Rhonda and I came back to the stem cell room and went to sleep. We got up around 8:25. William left to go downstairs. While I was still lying down, I came to the realization that the doctors had done all they could and that we had done all we could...
__________________________________________________________
That is all I wrote in my journal that day. What I write next will be from memory. Things that stood out to me during that day. I'm a little fuzzy on some things but others I can remember well. Some of you may have been there and remember things differently. Just know that these memories come from a mother's heart that was breaking at the time.
_________________________________________________________
When we went downstairs to see Jared, the news was not good. The doctors did not think he would make it through the day. One of the doctors was surprised that Jared was still with us. All of the family and friends gathered in a room that the hospital provided. We stood in a circle and held hands. We shared what the doctors had told us and Pastor Lynn prayed. I asked that no one tell Jared good bye when they visited with him. I didn't know if Jared was aware of what was going on but if he was I did not want him to hear voices telling him goodbye and he not be able to respond. I wanted him to hear voices that encouraged him and told him how much he was loved.
I think everyone went back to the waiting area and some started visiting Jared. I went to the chapel. I sat down in one of the chairs and prayed silently. I kept asking God to tell me that Jared was going to be okay. I wanted reassurance that God was going to heal Jared. I didn't hear anything. I sat for a while and then went back to the waiting area.
We had praise music playing in Jared's room. Selena, my sister, had bought a teddy bear from the gift shop and we put it next to Jared on his bed. We spent the morning visiting with each other and going to see Jared.
At 2:30, visiting hours were over. I wanted to stay but the nurse told me she would call me if anything changed. I don't remember what we did. I think we went to the cafeteria to get a bite to eat.
We all went back upstairs when we could start visiting Jared again. William, Adam and I sat with Jared. The nurse said that everything was fine while we were gone. She had turned up the praise music and stayed with him. I remember sitting beside his bed and watching the numbers on the screen. His H2O stat started slowly dropping. His heartbeat was a little slower. Tears streamed down my face as I watched helplessly. There was nothing I could do but trust.
I think Joyce started walking back and we asked her to have all of the grandparents come back. My mom, Tom, Dess, Mark, Joyce, Adam, William and I were all in the room as Jared took his last breaths. William had reached over to hug Jared and was holding him. I was hugging my mom. My dad was holding Adam and Joyce. Tom and Dess were holding each other. My mom and I were both crying. I remember looking over and seeing Tom crying. What a moment for all of us.
When the realization set in what had happened I quickly moved by William and to touch my baby.
I'm not sure how long we stayed in Jared's room. We all moved back to the room we had gathered in earlier. I remember sitting down in a chair and bending over with my head in my hands. Someone started talking to me and I said I didn't want to talk.
The doctors wanted to talk with William and me so we went to a small room that was nearby. I think it was Dr. Gratias and Dr. Reddy. She told us the hardest thing would be for us to leave the hospital without Jared. We discussed a few things and then went back with everyone else.
The hospital staff were getting Jared ready for all of us to see him again. They were removing the ventilator tubing, etc. and had moved him to another room. Everyone went in and stood around the bed. I told them to touch Jared. That he would never feel this way again. As we all stood around, I had thoughts of how Elisha in 2 Kings Chapter 4 prayed to the LORD and laid on top of the Shunammite's son after he died and the son came back to life. I considered doing the same thing but it would have been me. God wasn't telling me to do it.
We left the room. I'm not sure where everyone went. Our friends, Colleen and Mike, had come to the hospital when they heard the news about Jared. Rhonda, Colleen and I went up to the stem cell room. It was time to start packing up. Soon others joined us. We packed up our clothes, etc. We took cards off the wall that I had put up from friends and family. We gathered all of our items for the trip home.
Rhonda asked me if I needed time alone in the stem cell room before we left. I told her yes. Everyone left except for me. (What a blessing to have a friend that knows what you need even before you do.) I sat down in the rocking chair. The room was empty except for the fold out chairs that we had slept on and the rocking chair. I thought about Jared. I remembered our times together in the room. I sat and rocked. Eventually I knew I had to leave so I stood up and walked out the door.
We all gathered downstairs in the hospital lobby. Jody was going to drive William's truck. Rhonda was going to drive William, Adam and I home in the van. Everyone hugged and said goodbye knowing we would see each other soon at home.
We left for the long drive home. We had taken the middle seat out of the van a while back so we had a seat in the very back and the two seats in the front. Rhonda was in the driver's seat, I was in the passenger seat, William sat in the back and Adam roamed between the two of us. We were all upset. We cried. We hugged. William was busy in the back writing with a flashlight for light.
It was late night early morning when we arrived home. It's been six and a half weeks (46 days) since Jared and I left home. We left in winter. I came back to spring.
We unloaded the car and came inside the house. We all walked around in a daze. We listened to music, prayed, and walked around. I don't think any of us knew quite how to act.
I decided to go outside and walk around. It was the middle of the night, quiet, dark except for a street light. As I walked around, I noticed the signs of spring everywhere. I continued to walk around and then I noticed my favorite tree was blooming. I've heard some call it a fringe tree. When it blooms, it looks like soft white fringes hanging from the branches. This time the tree was more beautiful than ever. It was full and I couldn't help but admire the beauty. As I looked at the tree, I couldn't help but smile. I felt a small spark of hope in me. God always gives us what we need when we need it.
It was 3:00 or so before we went to bed not knowing what the rest of the week would bring.
_______________________________________________________
The next few days I will write about the events leading to Jared's funeral and details from that day. Not sure after that. I've found other things that I wrote along the way. Know that I appreciate all of you and that you've taken time out of your busy lives to read about one of our special sons named Jared.
It is now 12:00 noon. After seeing Jared last night, Rhonda and I came back to the stem cell room and went to sleep. We got up around 8:25. William left to go downstairs. While I was still lying down, I came to the realization that the doctors had done all they could and that we had done all we could...
__________________________________________________________
That is all I wrote in my journal that day. What I write next will be from memory. Things that stood out to me during that day. I'm a little fuzzy on some things but others I can remember well. Some of you may have been there and remember things differently. Just know that these memories come from a mother's heart that was breaking at the time.
_________________________________________________________
When we went downstairs to see Jared, the news was not good. The doctors did not think he would make it through the day. One of the doctors was surprised that Jared was still with us. All of the family and friends gathered in a room that the hospital provided. We stood in a circle and held hands. We shared what the doctors had told us and Pastor Lynn prayed. I asked that no one tell Jared good bye when they visited with him. I didn't know if Jared was aware of what was going on but if he was I did not want him to hear voices telling him goodbye and he not be able to respond. I wanted him to hear voices that encouraged him and told him how much he was loved.
I think everyone went back to the waiting area and some started visiting Jared. I went to the chapel. I sat down in one of the chairs and prayed silently. I kept asking God to tell me that Jared was going to be okay. I wanted reassurance that God was going to heal Jared. I didn't hear anything. I sat for a while and then went back to the waiting area.
We had praise music playing in Jared's room. Selena, my sister, had bought a teddy bear from the gift shop and we put it next to Jared on his bed. We spent the morning visiting with each other and going to see Jared.
At 2:30, visiting hours were over. I wanted to stay but the nurse told me she would call me if anything changed. I don't remember what we did. I think we went to the cafeteria to get a bite to eat.
We all went back upstairs when we could start visiting Jared again. William, Adam and I sat with Jared. The nurse said that everything was fine while we were gone. She had turned up the praise music and stayed with him. I remember sitting beside his bed and watching the numbers on the screen. His H2O stat started slowly dropping. His heartbeat was a little slower. Tears streamed down my face as I watched helplessly. There was nothing I could do but trust.
I think Joyce started walking back and we asked her to have all of the grandparents come back. My mom, Tom, Dess, Mark, Joyce, Adam, William and I were all in the room as Jared took his last breaths. William had reached over to hug Jared and was holding him. I was hugging my mom. My dad was holding Adam and Joyce. Tom and Dess were holding each other. My mom and I were both crying. I remember looking over and seeing Tom crying. What a moment for all of us.
When the realization set in what had happened I quickly moved by William and to touch my baby.
I'm not sure how long we stayed in Jared's room. We all moved back to the room we had gathered in earlier. I remember sitting down in a chair and bending over with my head in my hands. Someone started talking to me and I said I didn't want to talk.
The doctors wanted to talk with William and me so we went to a small room that was nearby. I think it was Dr. Gratias and Dr. Reddy. She told us the hardest thing would be for us to leave the hospital without Jared. We discussed a few things and then went back with everyone else.
The hospital staff were getting Jared ready for all of us to see him again. They were removing the ventilator tubing, etc. and had moved him to another room. Everyone went in and stood around the bed. I told them to touch Jared. That he would never feel this way again. As we all stood around, I had thoughts of how Elisha in 2 Kings Chapter 4 prayed to the LORD and laid on top of the Shunammite's son after he died and the son came back to life. I considered doing the same thing but it would have been me. God wasn't telling me to do it.
We left the room. I'm not sure where everyone went. Our friends, Colleen and Mike, had come to the hospital when they heard the news about Jared. Rhonda, Colleen and I went up to the stem cell room. It was time to start packing up. Soon others joined us. We packed up our clothes, etc. We took cards off the wall that I had put up from friends and family. We gathered all of our items for the trip home.
Rhonda asked me if I needed time alone in the stem cell room before we left. I told her yes. Everyone left except for me. (What a blessing to have a friend that knows what you need even before you do.) I sat down in the rocking chair. The room was empty except for the fold out chairs that we had slept on and the rocking chair. I thought about Jared. I remembered our times together in the room. I sat and rocked. Eventually I knew I had to leave so I stood up and walked out the door.
We all gathered downstairs in the hospital lobby. Jody was going to drive William's truck. Rhonda was going to drive William, Adam and I home in the van. Everyone hugged and said goodbye knowing we would see each other soon at home.
We left for the long drive home. We had taken the middle seat out of the van a while back so we had a seat in the very back and the two seats in the front. Rhonda was in the driver's seat, I was in the passenger seat, William sat in the back and Adam roamed between the two of us. We were all upset. We cried. We hugged. William was busy in the back writing with a flashlight for light.
It was late night early morning when we arrived home. It's been six and a half weeks (46 days) since Jared and I left home. We left in winter. I came back to spring.
We unloaded the car and came inside the house. We all walked around in a daze. We listened to music, prayed, and walked around. I don't think any of us knew quite how to act.
 |
| Rudy under the Tree - 2002 |
It was 3:00 or so before we went to bed not knowing what the rest of the week would bring.
_______________________________________________________
The next few days I will write about the events leading to Jared's funeral and details from that day. Not sure after that. I've found other things that I wrote along the way. Know that I appreciate all of you and that you've taken time out of your busy lives to read about one of our special sons named Jared.
Monday, April 9, 2012
April 9, 2002 (Tuesday)
Day 45
Last night was busy. We sat with Jared until a little before 10:00. We left early in case Rhonda tried to call from the airport. William and I came upstairs.
Rhonda called around 10:30. We left and on the way down from the garage, we saw Momma, Adam, Selena and Della. They got in the van and we all left for the airport.
We came back to the hospital and went to the family room on the stem cell floor and waited for 12:00 (PICU visiting hours). Momma wanted to see Jared before she went to the Hope Lodge. We went downstairs at 12:00 and saw Michelle, Wanda, Tasha, Pastor Lynn and Jody. We were surprised to see them at the hospital so late. We all sat down and talked.
One of the patients was having trouble so we weren't allowed in the PICU until around 1:00. Michelle, Wanda, Tasha, Pastor Lynn and Jody had already went back to see Jared so I went back with Momma and Selena. They both cried when they saw Jared. We all went back to see him and finally left a little before 2:00.
Momma and the girls followed us to the Hope Lodge since they didn't know how to get there. We told them bye and then came back to the hospital. I sent an email to everyone asking them to continue praying for Jared.
I laid down but decided to go back downstairs to check on Jared. I wanted to ask Scott, his nurse, if Jared knew what was happening to him and if he was trying to move and couldn't. Scott said that since Jared was on morphine and vercet he probably didn't realize what was going on around him.
When I walked in Jared was bleeding from his nose. He had a big air bubble and his breathing was causing the bubble to splatter blood all over his face. I got a cloth and started trying to clean his face. Soon Scott and I were putting pressure on Jared's nose to try and stop the bleeding.
I stayed downstairs until 4:20. Scott was concerned about me not sleeping but I assured him that I usually did sleep. Soon after, I went upstairs and went to sleep.
At 7:00, Dee called. At 7:30, David called. At 8:30, Debbie called. We all got up and hurriedly changed. Selena and Della were sitting in the PICU waiting area. I went back to Jared's room and sat with Momma.
Eventually everyone arrived. The doctors came in and they said Jared was the same except his liver was a little worse. Tom and Dess had arrived at the hospital so Dess stayed with William and Jared while I left with Rhonda and went upstairs to get a bath. Aunt Elsie, Linda and Carl had come to see Jared too. They were sitting in the waiting area with Pastor Lynn, Momma and everyone else. I greeted everyone and went upstairs. I got my bath and then went back downstairs again.
We all visited and took turns seeing Jared. I finally went downstairs to the cafeteria to get something to eat and then went to the stem cell room to get a nap. Aunt Elsie, Linda and Carl came by the cafeteria to tell us they were leaving.
Aunt Elsie told me that it was okay if God decided to take Jared. She and I made eye contact and I told her it was okay. They left and Rhonda and I talked about the peace we both were feeling. It was like having a huge bubble around us. We went upstairs and tried to nap. I think I may have slept 45 minutes.
Soon Mark, Joyce, Debbie and Patrick arrived. We all talked for a few minutes and then went downstairs to get some fresh air. We all sat outside and talked until 8:00. We each took turns going in to see Jared. Small groups went to get food. All the girls ordered pizza.
Anna Brook was our nurse today and Kay took over at 3:00. Jared bled most of the day. He received three bags of platelets in 12 hours. It looks like his bleeding has slowed down some. Everyone is talking about giving platelets so Jared will not have to do without. (Earlier I talked with Richard, the nurse practitioner about how to give platelets.) Pastor Lynn called Daphine so they could spread the word about giving platelets at home.
It is now 12:20. I'm about to go see Jared before going to sleep. Momma and the girls went to the Hope Lodge. Tom and Dess went to the Best Western. Everyone else went to their hotel. We all had a good day. Jared is still hanging in there.
*Lord, please heal Jared. I will put my trust in you. It is well. In Jesus name. Amen.
Jared's numbers are fluctuating but Dr. Buckmaster is trying to lower his dopamine.
*Lord, please give him wisdom. Give them all wisdom. Protect Jared. In Jesus name.
____________________________________________________________________
From: Lisa, William, Adam and Jared
Sent: Tuesday, April 9, 2002 3:49 a.m.
Subject: Jared
Hello everyone! Jared is not doing very well right now. His lungs are the big issue. His ventilator settings are very high so starting this morning he was placed on a paralysis medicine to protect him from injuring his lungs. He is still having problems with his liver and kidneys too. The doctor is concerned. We are concerned also but will continue to hope and pray for Jared's recovery "for nothing is impossible with God." Thanks for continuing to pray for him. We are comforted knowing that you are standing in the gap for him. God Bless.
From: Danny, Debbie and Lynn
Re: Jared
Dear cousins. We've been praying all night. We don't understand God's will many times but He has a plan. He's in control. Jared has been on our prayer list at church and the people saw the neat photo of him and Adam by the river. We pray that you will have the strength and comfort you need to get through this. We admire your courage so far. Please remember we care and that we have sweet memories of Jared and we've shared fun times with you, Lisa, William and Adam. Call on us anytime. We love ya'll!
From: Louise Jones
Re: Jared
Dear Lisa and Family. We shall continue to pray. Please let Jared know that we send him our love. Take care. lbj
From: Frankie
Re: Jared
God is with you and I will be praying extra, extra, extra hard today. I love you all, and have such a heavy heart for you. I'm glad Rhonda was able to come back and be with you. Best friends are a uniquely special gift and blessing in our lives, aren't they? Love you.
From: Valarie
Re: Jared
Our thoughts and prayers are with you there, all day, every day. Love you.
From: Donna, Wayne and Allie
Re: Jared
Lisa. Wayne and I think of you and your family constantly. Our prayers are with you. I wish there was something we could do. If there is anything that you need please let us know anytime day or night. We will continue to pray for Jared's recovery. Love you.
Last night was busy. We sat with Jared until a little before 10:00. We left early in case Rhonda tried to call from the airport. William and I came upstairs.
Rhonda called around 10:30. We left and on the way down from the garage, we saw Momma, Adam, Selena and Della. They got in the van and we all left for the airport.
We came back to the hospital and went to the family room on the stem cell floor and waited for 12:00 (PICU visiting hours). Momma wanted to see Jared before she went to the Hope Lodge. We went downstairs at 12:00 and saw Michelle, Wanda, Tasha, Pastor Lynn and Jody. We were surprised to see them at the hospital so late. We all sat down and talked.
One of the patients was having trouble so we weren't allowed in the PICU until around 1:00. Michelle, Wanda, Tasha, Pastor Lynn and Jody had already went back to see Jared so I went back with Momma and Selena. They both cried when they saw Jared. We all went back to see him and finally left a little before 2:00.
Momma and the girls followed us to the Hope Lodge since they didn't know how to get there. We told them bye and then came back to the hospital. I sent an email to everyone asking them to continue praying for Jared.
I laid down but decided to go back downstairs to check on Jared. I wanted to ask Scott, his nurse, if Jared knew what was happening to him and if he was trying to move and couldn't. Scott said that since Jared was on morphine and vercet he probably didn't realize what was going on around him.
When I walked in Jared was bleeding from his nose. He had a big air bubble and his breathing was causing the bubble to splatter blood all over his face. I got a cloth and started trying to clean his face. Soon Scott and I were putting pressure on Jared's nose to try and stop the bleeding.
I stayed downstairs until 4:20. Scott was concerned about me not sleeping but I assured him that I usually did sleep. Soon after, I went upstairs and went to sleep.
At 7:00, Dee called. At 7:30, David called. At 8:30, Debbie called. We all got up and hurriedly changed. Selena and Della were sitting in the PICU waiting area. I went back to Jared's room and sat with Momma.
Eventually everyone arrived. The doctors came in and they said Jared was the same except his liver was a little worse. Tom and Dess had arrived at the hospital so Dess stayed with William and Jared while I left with Rhonda and went upstairs to get a bath. Aunt Elsie, Linda and Carl had come to see Jared too. They were sitting in the waiting area with Pastor Lynn, Momma and everyone else. I greeted everyone and went upstairs. I got my bath and then went back downstairs again.
We all visited and took turns seeing Jared. I finally went downstairs to the cafeteria to get something to eat and then went to the stem cell room to get a nap. Aunt Elsie, Linda and Carl came by the cafeteria to tell us they were leaving.
Aunt Elsie told me that it was okay if God decided to take Jared. She and I made eye contact and I told her it was okay. They left and Rhonda and I talked about the peace we both were feeling. It was like having a huge bubble around us. We went upstairs and tried to nap. I think I may have slept 45 minutes.
Soon Mark, Joyce, Debbie and Patrick arrived. We all talked for a few minutes and then went downstairs to get some fresh air. We all sat outside and talked until 8:00. We each took turns going in to see Jared. Small groups went to get food. All the girls ordered pizza.
Anna Brook was our nurse today and Kay took over at 3:00. Jared bled most of the day. He received three bags of platelets in 12 hours. It looks like his bleeding has slowed down some. Everyone is talking about giving platelets so Jared will not have to do without. (Earlier I talked with Richard, the nurse practitioner about how to give platelets.) Pastor Lynn called Daphine so they could spread the word about giving platelets at home.
It is now 12:20. I'm about to go see Jared before going to sleep. Momma and the girls went to the Hope Lodge. Tom and Dess went to the Best Western. Everyone else went to their hotel. We all had a good day. Jared is still hanging in there.
*Lord, please heal Jared. I will put my trust in you. It is well. In Jesus name. Amen.
Jared's numbers are fluctuating but Dr. Buckmaster is trying to lower his dopamine.
*Lord, please give him wisdom. Give them all wisdom. Protect Jared. In Jesus name.
____________________________________________________________________
 |
| The Sangster Family |
Sent: Tuesday, April 9, 2002 3:49 a.m.
Subject: Jared
Hello everyone! Jared is not doing very well right now. His lungs are the big issue. His ventilator settings are very high so starting this morning he was placed on a paralysis medicine to protect him from injuring his lungs. He is still having problems with his liver and kidneys too. The doctor is concerned. We are concerned also but will continue to hope and pray for Jared's recovery "for nothing is impossible with God." Thanks for continuing to pray for him. We are comforted knowing that you are standing in the gap for him. God Bless.
From: Danny, Debbie and Lynn
Re: Jared
Dear cousins. We've been praying all night. We don't understand God's will many times but He has a plan. He's in control. Jared has been on our prayer list at church and the people saw the neat photo of him and Adam by the river. We pray that you will have the strength and comfort you need to get through this. We admire your courage so far. Please remember we care and that we have sweet memories of Jared and we've shared fun times with you, Lisa, William and Adam. Call on us anytime. We love ya'll!
From: Louise Jones
Re: Jared
Dear Lisa and Family. We shall continue to pray. Please let Jared know that we send him our love. Take care. lbj
From: Frankie
Re: Jared
God is with you and I will be praying extra, extra, extra hard today. I love you all, and have such a heavy heart for you. I'm glad Rhonda was able to come back and be with you. Best friends are a uniquely special gift and blessing in our lives, aren't they? Love you.
From: Valarie
Re: Jared
Our thoughts and prayers are with you there, all day, every day. Love you.
From: Donna, Wayne and Allie
Re: Jared
Lisa. Wayne and I think of you and your family constantly. Our prayers are with you. I wish there was something we could do. If there is anything that you need please let us know anytime day or night. We will continue to pray for Jared's recovery. Love you.
Sunday, April 8, 2012
April 8, 2002 (Monday)
Day 44
Last night I went back to check on Jared. Angela walked with me. Jared was okay except for the bleeding.
I went back to the room and placed a new mat on my fold out chair. Barbie had ordered a new one for me and it had just been delivered to the stem cell floor.
We slept until 8:00. Adam had called at 7:00 to say his arms were hurting. I encouraged him to go to school. William got up and went downstairs. I got ready and followed soon after.
The doctors were making their rounds. Barbie and Stacy had come down to see Jared and were in the room. Grace is our nurse. Barbie and Stacy stayed until after the doctors came in. Dr. Buckmaster took over for PICU today. They all came in and filled us in on the latest. Jared is now in an induced coma to protect his lungs. The ventilator pressure he is on could harm his lungs if he tried to breath by himself. The doctors were not very positive. Dr. Shipp did say that he was still hopeful. Jared is considered day to day. The doctors left and we sat with Jared for a minutes.
We left and went upstairs so I could take Angela to the Hope Lodge. She and Larry are moving to the Lodge today. William went back to Jared's room while I took Angela to get a room.
When we got back I went to PICU and sat with William. I was very emotional because it is hard to see Jared like this. His eyes are opened but he is not blinking or anything. We sat with him for a few minutes and then went down to the cafeteria to eat lunch. We talked with the doctor from Columbia that is visiting to learn more about the stem cell process. He has been involved with Jared's care along the way.
After eating, I came back to the room while William went downstairs. It is now 1:15. William and I are debating if he should go home.
*Lord, give us wisdom. We pray for Jared. Things are looking rough. I pray Lord for your will in Jared. Please heal him. In Jesus name.
It is now 5:00. Things have changed a lot in the last few hours. Jared's H2O stats and blood pressure began to drop. Grace called in Dr. Buckmaster and he changed a few things. They went up on the epinephrine. He told us that Jared's lungs looked a lot sicker. He also told us that Jared's lungs were stiff and that we were near the end of what the ventilator could do for him. Dr. Buckmaster said that he'd done just about all he could. The rest would be up to Jared. By the end of the conversation I was in tears. He said he was sorry but that we needed to know. He said that two out of ten people that have this problem survive. Jared is also dealing with liver and kidney issues. William and I are both in shock. We left Jared's room a little after 2:30. I read the scripture about the Shunammite woman before we left.
*Lord, I need to know what to do. What am I to believe? What am I to do? What am I to say? I don't understand. How am I to pray? Lord, give me wisdom. I don't want to spend the next few days crying all the time. Help me, Lord. I'm so weak right now. Touch Jared and have your way. In Jesus name.
William and I went to Walmart to pick up my prescription. We called everyone to let them know the latest. Rhonda called Pastor Lynn. We are trying to get in touch with Adam but he is on the phone (internet).
We went back to Jared's room. Dr. Reddy and Karen came by and they were both sympathetic. Dr. Reddy said that she would still recommend stem cell for Jared even after everything that has happened. They left and then William left to try and get in touch with Adam.
It is now 5:25. Jared's stats are remaining steady. A nurse came in to check the ventilator and was sharing that we've got to release our kids. I guess that's what I've got to do.
*Lord, I release Jared to you. It is my heart's desire for him to be totally healed and whole. Please have your way. In Jesus name. Amen.
It is now 9:00. Not long after I wrote earlier, a lady from the church that's been visiting with us came by. She caught me right in the middle of losing it (crying). She sat for a moment and then I finally was able to say hello. Soon after Harry and his wife (more people from their church) came. They prayed for Jared. William came in while they were praying. They went out to the waiting area while William and I stayed with Jared until 6:30. During that time, Jared's pressure started dropping. Myra, the flight nurse, came in and told us why. It had something to do with his IV meds and how fast Jared was receiving them.
William and I went to the lobby and sat with everyone and answered our phones. Conna (a friend from our church) had called her friend, Dennis, and told him about Jared. They went to church together years ago. He came by to show support. We all talked until 8:00 and then Dennis and William went back to check on Jared and pray. I went back next and then went out to tell everyone bye. We all prayed in the waiting area and they left.
William is leaving now to go get a Hope Lodge room. My mom is on the way with Adam, Selena and Della. Rhonda is flying over. Tom and Dess will probably come tomorrow.
Scott is our nurse tonight.
*I pray Lord that you'll give him wisdom. Help him to keep Jared safe tonight. Lord, I pray for healing for Jared. Touch him I pray. In Jesus name.
Last night I went back to check on Jared. Angela walked with me. Jared was okay except for the bleeding.
I went back to the room and placed a new mat on my fold out chair. Barbie had ordered a new one for me and it had just been delivered to the stem cell floor.
We slept until 8:00. Adam had called at 7:00 to say his arms were hurting. I encouraged him to go to school. William got up and went downstairs. I got ready and followed soon after.
The doctors were making their rounds. Barbie and Stacy had come down to see Jared and were in the room. Grace is our nurse. Barbie and Stacy stayed until after the doctors came in. Dr. Buckmaster took over for PICU today. They all came in and filled us in on the latest. Jared is now in an induced coma to protect his lungs. The ventilator pressure he is on could harm his lungs if he tried to breath by himself. The doctors were not very positive. Dr. Shipp did say that he was still hopeful. Jared is considered day to day. The doctors left and we sat with Jared for a minutes.
We left and went upstairs so I could take Angela to the Hope Lodge. She and Larry are moving to the Lodge today. William went back to Jared's room while I took Angela to get a room.
When we got back I went to PICU and sat with William. I was very emotional because it is hard to see Jared like this. His eyes are opened but he is not blinking or anything. We sat with him for a few minutes and then went down to the cafeteria to eat lunch. We talked with the doctor from Columbia that is visiting to learn more about the stem cell process. He has been involved with Jared's care along the way.
After eating, I came back to the room while William went downstairs. It is now 1:15. William and I are debating if he should go home.
*Lord, give us wisdom. We pray for Jared. Things are looking rough. I pray Lord for your will in Jared. Please heal him. In Jesus name.
It is now 5:00. Things have changed a lot in the last few hours. Jared's H2O stats and blood pressure began to drop. Grace called in Dr. Buckmaster and he changed a few things. They went up on the epinephrine. He told us that Jared's lungs looked a lot sicker. He also told us that Jared's lungs were stiff and that we were near the end of what the ventilator could do for him. Dr. Buckmaster said that he'd done just about all he could. The rest would be up to Jared. By the end of the conversation I was in tears. He said he was sorry but that we needed to know. He said that two out of ten people that have this problem survive. Jared is also dealing with liver and kidney issues. William and I are both in shock. We left Jared's room a little after 2:30. I read the scripture about the Shunammite woman before we left.
*Lord, I need to know what to do. What am I to believe? What am I to do? What am I to say? I don't understand. How am I to pray? Lord, give me wisdom. I don't want to spend the next few days crying all the time. Help me, Lord. I'm so weak right now. Touch Jared and have your way. In Jesus name.
William and I went to Walmart to pick up my prescription. We called everyone to let them know the latest. Rhonda called Pastor Lynn. We are trying to get in touch with Adam but he is on the phone (internet).
We went back to Jared's room. Dr. Reddy and Karen came by and they were both sympathetic. Dr. Reddy said that she would still recommend stem cell for Jared even after everything that has happened. They left and then William left to try and get in touch with Adam.
It is now 5:25. Jared's stats are remaining steady. A nurse came in to check the ventilator and was sharing that we've got to release our kids. I guess that's what I've got to do.
*Lord, I release Jared to you. It is my heart's desire for him to be totally healed and whole. Please have your way. In Jesus name. Amen.
It is now 9:00. Not long after I wrote earlier, a lady from the church that's been visiting with us came by. She caught me right in the middle of losing it (crying). She sat for a moment and then I finally was able to say hello. Soon after Harry and his wife (more people from their church) came. They prayed for Jared. William came in while they were praying. They went out to the waiting area while William and I stayed with Jared until 6:30. During that time, Jared's pressure started dropping. Myra, the flight nurse, came in and told us why. It had something to do with his IV meds and how fast Jared was receiving them.
William and I went to the lobby and sat with everyone and answered our phones. Conna (a friend from our church) had called her friend, Dennis, and told him about Jared. They went to church together years ago. He came by to show support. We all talked until 8:00 and then Dennis and William went back to check on Jared and pray. I went back next and then went out to tell everyone bye. We all prayed in the waiting area and they left.
William is leaving now to go get a Hope Lodge room. My mom is on the way with Adam, Selena and Della. Rhonda is flying over. Tom and Dess will probably come tomorrow.
Scott is our nurse tonight.
*I pray Lord that you'll give him wisdom. Help him to keep Jared safe tonight. Lord, I pray for healing for Jared. Touch him I pray. In Jesus name.
 |
| Jared and Dad |
Saturday, April 7, 2012
April 7, 2002 (Sunday)
Day 43
Today began a little after 8:00. I looked at the clock and wasn't sure it was right or not so I checked my watch. They had set all the clocks up so it was right.
William got up and left for coffee. Tom and Dess peeked in soon after and wanted to know where William was. Tom was acting panicky so I asked what was wrong. He said that the nurse had told them to leave Jared's room because they were helping Jared. He had some bleeding as well as blood pressure problems and a fever. I told them that everything was normal but the fever. They left looking for William and I hurriedly got dressed and went downstairs.
William and Dess were in the room. Dess left and Debbie, our nurse, filled me in on the latest. Jared had a lot of bleeding around his mouth and nose. The nurse had placed gauze to help absorb the bleeding. His blood pressure was a little low and they had raised his dose of blood pressure meds. He had a fever so she had removed all his covers except for his briefs so he was laying pretty much naked. His dialysis machine was still off but they were going to start it soon. His numbers on the ventilator had also been raised so everything looked a little discouraging.
Dr. Shipp came by and said that he and Dr. Winkler are going to try and get that medicine here. They want to buy it over the Internet and get the FDA and UAB approval to use it. Dr. Shipp said that overall he thinks Jared is the same.
*Lord, I pray for your will with that. In Jesus name. Amen.
Momma and Wayne arrived around 9:30 so they both came back to see Jared. Momma had brought some cookies. She and I went upstairs to wake Adam. Tom and Dess were up there so we all talked while I started a load of clothes. I went back down to see Jared and spent some time with my Mom. She and Wayne came back and said bye. I continued to stay with Jared.
Mark, Joyce and Debbie came in to see Jared. Mark and Debbie left for home and Joyce went upstairs. She is going back to our house and stay with Adam this week. I sat with Jared until Dess and William came down. I went upstairs to eat a sandwich and check on Adam. I came down in time to see Jared before visiting time was over. Tom, Dess, Joyce and Adam left at 2:30. William and I gave Adam a big hug before they left. We then went upstairs and rested until 4:00. William took a nap. Rhonda called and I talked with her for a few minutes.
We went back to Jared's room. Cindy is now our nurse.
*I pray, Lord, that you'll give her wisdom. That she'll do a good job. In Jesus name.
We are still sitting with Jared at 6:05. His platelet count is at 89,000 but he is still bleeding from his nose and mouth.
*Lord, I pray that you'll stop that bleeding in Jesus name.
Today, all of Jared's grandparents came to visit him. It's been a tough day. I want to help Jared but I can't. Earlier, I was looking at him thinking about all that we've been through together. I know that Jared believes that God will heal him.
*Lord, the faith of a child is powerful. I know that heaven is a much, much, much better place than here. I pray for your will. In my heart, I know that Jared will be healed. It gets discouraging looking at him and seeing the blood on his face, the weakness of his eyes, the yellowness of his skin, his inability to interact with us. Lord, have your way. Help me to not doubt. Help me to hold on. I praise your name, Jesus. I thank you that you are Wonderful, Counselor, Prince of Peace. Have your way. In Jesus name. I've had thoughts of life and death today! Help me to be a vessel, and Jared too, to do your will. In Jesus name.
It is now 11:30. William and I sat with Jared until 6:30 and then we went to the stem cell room. We ate in the family room and then went downstairs. We called Adam and talked with him. I got a snack and we came back upstairs. I talked with Angela and Barbie and then came back in the room. I sent an email earlier today so I checked for replies and then we went back downstairs to sit with Jared.
We were both a little upset with the blood on Jared's face. Cindy suctioned Jared and then was about to take his nose bandage off when his blood pressure medicine needed to be changed. She changed it but Jared's pressure started dropping. Cindy called in another nurse and they gave him extra help to bring it back up. Jared's blood pressure had settled so William went upstairs to the stem cell room. I sat with Jared until 10:30. I came back to the room and talked with William. Rhonda had called so I tried to call her but it was busy. I checked email and then Pastor Lynn called. I talked with him for a few minutes and then he prayed for Jared. It is almost 12:00. I've decided to go back and check on Jared before going to sleep.
*Lord, help us. In Jesus name. Amen.
_________________________________________________________
From: Lisa, William, Adam and Jared
Sent: Sunday, April 7, 2002 4:14 p.m.
To: Family and Friends
Subject: Hello
Hey everyone! It's Sunday afternoon in Birmingham. We had a nice visit with our family this weekend. Adam also came to visit. William and I were both glad to see him. Jared is still in PICU. The doctor said yesterday that she thinks Jared may be there for another month. She also said she hoped that Jared would prove her to be a liar. So do we. Jared's liver is still the main concern. He is still on dialysis for his kidneys (although he did have a break time to see how he would do). The doctors think that his kidneys will shape up once his liver starts working properly. Jared is also still on the ventilator. His lungs are a little sicker (the phrase the doctor uses) and his liver is pressing against his right lung so the ventilator helps Jared to not have to work so hard. There is a new drug that was developed to help with veno-occlusive disease. The patient has to meet a certain criteria to be given the drug. Also, at this time, the drug is only administered at four hospitals in the U.S. Our doctors are going to petition the FDA and the UAB (local hospital) board to see if they will allow Jared to have the drug if he can meet the criteria. At this time, he cannot have the drug. His lungs need to improve, his blood pressure needs to stabilize and he must not have any excessive bleeding (his blood has been having trouble clotting). There are some side effects to this drug so that must be weighed also before giving to him. We appreciate all the love and support that you have showered us with the last few weeks, months, year. Thanks for continuing to pray for Jared. God Bless All of You!!!
From: Ladonna
Subject: Re: Hello
Lisa,
Hi! You do not know me but I am the pastor's wife of Grace Community Assembly of God in Flower Mound, TX. When the Hobbs family lived in TX, they attended our church. Rhonda has kept us posted on Jared's progress over the last year or so. We have been praying for him at Grace as well as me personally. We did have our Grace kids make a poster for him and would like to mail it to him. Could you email me with his address there at the hospital? It is not much but maybe it will lift his spirits a little to know that he is on our hearts and in our thoughts. We are praying for your family as well. I know how hard it is for the entire family when one person goes through something this serious. My sister had breast cancer three years ago. It was a hard time for our entire family. I can't even imagine having a child this sick. Please know that we are praying for you guys. Rhonda emailed me a pix of you and Jared. What a cute kid he is! Blessings on you!
From: Diane
Subject: Re: Hello
Dear Lisa.
Hi! Thanks for the update. I had to look up veno-occlusive disease. Now I understand! I imagine you've learned a whole new language in the last year. How is Adam doing? Did he already have his Spring Break? Is William staying with you? Is Jared able to communicate with you or do they have him under all the time? I hope I'm not asking too many questions. I appreciate so much the updates. I know God knows what is going on and I don't need to know exactly everything in order to pray. I do get people who ask and I keep Jared on our prayer chain, so the updates are very helpful. I hope you are taking care of yourself, keeping your strength up as much as possible. I love you!
From: Wendy
Subject: Re: Hello
Hey Lisa. Thank you for the update. We are still praying for that liver to perk up along with our petitions for a miracle. How else can I pray? How are YOU? Is there ANYTHING we can do to help you and your family? There is an army of prayer warriors in North Georgia praying for you ALL. Our thoughts are with you constantly, and our prayers numerous times each day. Have you had any more "angel encounters"? I have shared that wonderful experience of God's miraculous provision many times. A mechanic - right when we needed him! I guess that's why we all took your van - it needed some "fixin" and we had to get it to a mechanic! Go figure... God certainly does work in mysterious ways. Miraculous, mysterious ways. I'm reminded of a song I used to sing with a good friend at church - you may know it, but I want to share the words with you now, just as a gentle reminder:
There is no problem too big, God cannot solve it.
There is no mountain too tall, He cannot move it.
There is not storm too dark, God cannot calm it.
There is no sorrow too deep, He cannot soothe it.
If He carried the weight of the world upon His shoulders,
I know, my sister, that He will carry you.
He said, "Come unto me; all who are weary, and I will give you rest."
If he carried the weight of the world upon His shoulders,
I know, my sister, that He will carry you.
He will carry you.
We love you! We praise God that He is with you always!
Today began a little after 8:00. I looked at the clock and wasn't sure it was right or not so I checked my watch. They had set all the clocks up so it was right.
William got up and left for coffee. Tom and Dess peeked in soon after and wanted to know where William was. Tom was acting panicky so I asked what was wrong. He said that the nurse had told them to leave Jared's room because they were helping Jared. He had some bleeding as well as blood pressure problems and a fever. I told them that everything was normal but the fever. They left looking for William and I hurriedly got dressed and went downstairs.
William and Dess were in the room. Dess left and Debbie, our nurse, filled me in on the latest. Jared had a lot of bleeding around his mouth and nose. The nurse had placed gauze to help absorb the bleeding. His blood pressure was a little low and they had raised his dose of blood pressure meds. He had a fever so she had removed all his covers except for his briefs so he was laying pretty much naked. His dialysis machine was still off but they were going to start it soon. His numbers on the ventilator had also been raised so everything looked a little discouraging.
Dr. Shipp came by and said that he and Dr. Winkler are going to try and get that medicine here. They want to buy it over the Internet and get the FDA and UAB approval to use it. Dr. Shipp said that overall he thinks Jared is the same.
*Lord, I pray for your will with that. In Jesus name. Amen.
Momma and Wayne arrived around 9:30 so they both came back to see Jared. Momma had brought some cookies. She and I went upstairs to wake Adam. Tom and Dess were up there so we all talked while I started a load of clothes. I went back down to see Jared and spent some time with my Mom. She and Wayne came back and said bye. I continued to stay with Jared.
Mark, Joyce and Debbie came in to see Jared. Mark and Debbie left for home and Joyce went upstairs. She is going back to our house and stay with Adam this week. I sat with Jared until Dess and William came down. I went upstairs to eat a sandwich and check on Adam. I came down in time to see Jared before visiting time was over. Tom, Dess, Joyce and Adam left at 2:30. William and I gave Adam a big hug before they left. We then went upstairs and rested until 4:00. William took a nap. Rhonda called and I talked with her for a few minutes.
We went back to Jared's room. Cindy is now our nurse.
*I pray, Lord, that you'll give her wisdom. That she'll do a good job. In Jesus name.
We are still sitting with Jared at 6:05. His platelet count is at 89,000 but he is still bleeding from his nose and mouth.
*Lord, I pray that you'll stop that bleeding in Jesus name.
Today, all of Jared's grandparents came to visit him. It's been a tough day. I want to help Jared but I can't. Earlier, I was looking at him thinking about all that we've been through together. I know that Jared believes that God will heal him.
*Lord, the faith of a child is powerful. I know that heaven is a much, much, much better place than here. I pray for your will. In my heart, I know that Jared will be healed. It gets discouraging looking at him and seeing the blood on his face, the weakness of his eyes, the yellowness of his skin, his inability to interact with us. Lord, have your way. Help me to not doubt. Help me to hold on. I praise your name, Jesus. I thank you that you are Wonderful, Counselor, Prince of Peace. Have your way. In Jesus name. I've had thoughts of life and death today! Help me to be a vessel, and Jared too, to do your will. In Jesus name.
It is now 11:30. William and I sat with Jared until 6:30 and then we went to the stem cell room. We ate in the family room and then went downstairs. We called Adam and talked with him. I got a snack and we came back upstairs. I talked with Angela and Barbie and then came back in the room. I sent an email earlier today so I checked for replies and then we went back downstairs to sit with Jared.
We were both a little upset with the blood on Jared's face. Cindy suctioned Jared and then was about to take his nose bandage off when his blood pressure medicine needed to be changed. She changed it but Jared's pressure started dropping. Cindy called in another nurse and they gave him extra help to bring it back up. Jared's blood pressure had settled so William went upstairs to the stem cell room. I sat with Jared until 10:30. I came back to the room and talked with William. Rhonda had called so I tried to call her but it was busy. I checked email and then Pastor Lynn called. I talked with him for a few minutes and then he prayed for Jared. It is almost 12:00. I've decided to go back and check on Jared before going to sleep.
*Lord, help us. In Jesus name. Amen.
_________________________________________________________
From: Lisa, William, Adam and Jared
Sent: Sunday, April 7, 2002 4:14 p.m.
To: Family and Friends
Subject: Hello
Hey everyone! It's Sunday afternoon in Birmingham. We had a nice visit with our family this weekend. Adam also came to visit. William and I were both glad to see him. Jared is still in PICU. The doctor said yesterday that she thinks Jared may be there for another month. She also said she hoped that Jared would prove her to be a liar. So do we. Jared's liver is still the main concern. He is still on dialysis for his kidneys (although he did have a break time to see how he would do). The doctors think that his kidneys will shape up once his liver starts working properly. Jared is also still on the ventilator. His lungs are a little sicker (the phrase the doctor uses) and his liver is pressing against his right lung so the ventilator helps Jared to not have to work so hard. There is a new drug that was developed to help with veno-occlusive disease. The patient has to meet a certain criteria to be given the drug. Also, at this time, the drug is only administered at four hospitals in the U.S. Our doctors are going to petition the FDA and the UAB (local hospital) board to see if they will allow Jared to have the drug if he can meet the criteria. At this time, he cannot have the drug. His lungs need to improve, his blood pressure needs to stabilize and he must not have any excessive bleeding (his blood has been having trouble clotting). There are some side effects to this drug so that must be weighed also before giving to him. We appreciate all the love and support that you have showered us with the last few weeks, months, year. Thanks for continuing to pray for Jared. God Bless All of You!!!
From: Ladonna
Subject: Re: Hello
Lisa,
Hi! You do not know me but I am the pastor's wife of Grace Community Assembly of God in Flower Mound, TX. When the Hobbs family lived in TX, they attended our church. Rhonda has kept us posted on Jared's progress over the last year or so. We have been praying for him at Grace as well as me personally. We did have our Grace kids make a poster for him and would like to mail it to him. Could you email me with his address there at the hospital? It is not much but maybe it will lift his spirits a little to know that he is on our hearts and in our thoughts. We are praying for your family as well. I know how hard it is for the entire family when one person goes through something this serious. My sister had breast cancer three years ago. It was a hard time for our entire family. I can't even imagine having a child this sick. Please know that we are praying for you guys. Rhonda emailed me a pix of you and Jared. What a cute kid he is! Blessings on you!
From: Diane
Subject: Re: Hello
Dear Lisa.
Hi! Thanks for the update. I had to look up veno-occlusive disease. Now I understand! I imagine you've learned a whole new language in the last year. How is Adam doing? Did he already have his Spring Break? Is William staying with you? Is Jared able to communicate with you or do they have him under all the time? I hope I'm not asking too many questions. I appreciate so much the updates. I know God knows what is going on and I don't need to know exactly everything in order to pray. I do get people who ask and I keep Jared on our prayer chain, so the updates are very helpful. I hope you are taking care of yourself, keeping your strength up as much as possible. I love you!
From: Wendy
Subject: Re: Hello
Hey Lisa. Thank you for the update. We are still praying for that liver to perk up along with our petitions for a miracle. How else can I pray? How are YOU? Is there ANYTHING we can do to help you and your family? There is an army of prayer warriors in North Georgia praying for you ALL. Our thoughts are with you constantly, and our prayers numerous times each day. Have you had any more "angel encounters"? I have shared that wonderful experience of God's miraculous provision many times. A mechanic - right when we needed him! I guess that's why we all took your van - it needed some "fixin" and we had to get it to a mechanic! Go figure... God certainly does work in mysterious ways. Miraculous, mysterious ways. I'm reminded of a song I used to sing with a good friend at church - you may know it, but I want to share the words with you now, just as a gentle reminder:
There is no problem too big, God cannot solve it.
There is no mountain too tall, He cannot move it.
There is not storm too dark, God cannot calm it.
There is no sorrow too deep, He cannot soothe it.
If He carried the weight of the world upon His shoulders,
I know, my sister, that He will carry you.
He said, "Come unto me; all who are weary, and I will give you rest."
If he carried the weight of the world upon His shoulders,
I know, my sister, that He will carry you.
He will carry you.
We love you! We praise God that He is with you always!
 |
| Turn to the Right... |
 |
| Turn to the Right... |
 |
| Turn to the Right... |
 |
| Smile... Jared, Adam and Cody |
Friday, April 6, 2012
April 6, 2002 (Saturday)
Day 42
Today began a little after 8:00. I got up and took a bath while William went downstairs to get coffee, etc. I got ready and went to Jared's room.
Kay is his nurse today. She filled us in on the latest with Jared. During the night, his machine kept clotting so it was gone when I came in. I didn't even notice. Jared is now on a morphine/vercet drip. He has been asleep most of the time while we've been in here. His blood pressure is remaining stable so they are lowering one of his drugs. Jared's lungs are also looking better today. We remain hopeful that Jared is going to pull through.
I talked with Daniel's mom (another stem cell family) earlier and she said she was praying for Jared.
It is now 10:25 and we are waiting for the latest update. We are also waiting for family to arrive.
*Lord, we thank you for this day and pray for your will. In Jesus name.
William and I continued to sit with Jared. Dr. Shipp came by and said that he was still worried but more optimistic. We waited and then Dr. Winkler came by. She said that she felt Jared was the same and was glad he wasn't worse.
William and I left and went upstairs to eat. Patrick's mom (another stem cell family) came in and we talked for a few minutes. William and I went back downstairs. The burn nurse was changing Jared's dressing so I sat in the waiting area and then went back upstairs.
William called me a few minutes later. Tom, Dess, Joyce and Adam had arrived from home. It was really good to see Adam. We all went to the stem cell family room and they ate and then we went downstairs. Everyone took turns going in to see Jared.
Cody, Jared's best friend, arrived soon after. He and his dad came in to see Jared. I explained to Cody what was going on with Jared. I became a little emotional but was able to keep my cool. When they went back to the waiting area, I went too. William and I went downstairs with them to get a snack.
I went back upstairs and they came up soon after. Debbie, Patrick and Mark had arrived so we all took turns visiting with Jared until 6:30.
Cody and I had went upstairs to see Adam. We came back to the PICU waiting area and then everyone went downstairs. Cody and his dad left for home and we all decided to go eat. We went to a local BBQ place. We all ate and then left around 8:30. Mark and family left to go to the State park. Tom and Dess dropped us off at the hospital and went to the Hope Lodge.
William, Adam and I went to see Jared. He was still sleeping. His dialysis machine had clotted off again. They decided to wait until tomorrow to restart it. I noticed that Jared was having some bleeding so I asked the nurse what his last platelet count was. She checked and at 3:00, it was 34,000 so she ordered platelets.
I came upstairs at 10:30 and called Rhonda. I also talked with Mrs. Weaver today. It is now 12:20 (1:20 daylight savings time) and we are about to go to sleep.
*Lord, please keep Jared safe. Watch over him and have your way. In Jesus name. Amen.
_________________________________________________________________
Another story written by Jared... :)
Today began a little after 8:00. I got up and took a bath while William went downstairs to get coffee, etc. I got ready and went to Jared's room.
Kay is his nurse today. She filled us in on the latest with Jared. During the night, his machine kept clotting so it was gone when I came in. I didn't even notice. Jared is now on a morphine/vercet drip. He has been asleep most of the time while we've been in here. His blood pressure is remaining stable so they are lowering one of his drugs. Jared's lungs are also looking better today. We remain hopeful that Jared is going to pull through.
I talked with Daniel's mom (another stem cell family) earlier and she said she was praying for Jared.
It is now 10:25 and we are waiting for the latest update. We are also waiting for family to arrive.
*Lord, we thank you for this day and pray for your will. In Jesus name.
William and I continued to sit with Jared. Dr. Shipp came by and said that he was still worried but more optimistic. We waited and then Dr. Winkler came by. She said that she felt Jared was the same and was glad he wasn't worse.
William and I left and went upstairs to eat. Patrick's mom (another stem cell family) came in and we talked for a few minutes. William and I went back downstairs. The burn nurse was changing Jared's dressing so I sat in the waiting area and then went back upstairs.
William called me a few minutes later. Tom, Dess, Joyce and Adam had arrived from home. It was really good to see Adam. We all went to the stem cell family room and they ate and then we went downstairs. Everyone took turns going in to see Jared.
Cody, Jared's best friend, arrived soon after. He and his dad came in to see Jared. I explained to Cody what was going on with Jared. I became a little emotional but was able to keep my cool. When they went back to the waiting area, I went too. William and I went downstairs with them to get a snack.
I went back upstairs and they came up soon after. Debbie, Patrick and Mark had arrived so we all took turns visiting with Jared until 6:30.
Cody and I had went upstairs to see Adam. We came back to the PICU waiting area and then everyone went downstairs. Cody and his dad left for home and we all decided to go eat. We went to a local BBQ place. We all ate and then left around 8:30. Mark and family left to go to the State park. Tom and Dess dropped us off at the hospital and went to the Hope Lodge.
William, Adam and I went to see Jared. He was still sleeping. His dialysis machine had clotted off again. They decided to wait until tomorrow to restart it. I noticed that Jared was having some bleeding so I asked the nurse what his last platelet count was. She checked and at 3:00, it was 34,000 so she ordered platelets.
I came upstairs at 10:30 and called Rhonda. I also talked with Mrs. Weaver today. It is now 12:20 (1:20 daylight savings time) and we are about to go to sleep.
*Lord, please keep Jared safe. Watch over him and have your way. In Jesus name. Amen.
_________________________________________________________________
Another story written by Jared... :)
Cinderpete
by Jared Sangster
Once upon a time there was a boy named Cinderpete. He lived in the town of Paris, Alabama. He and his brothers and stepfather lived in a small shack on the side of Highway 1001. His brothers went to go play when Cinderpete had to help clean the house. While they were out the brothers got four tickets to the Sugar Bowl. They invited their dad but they did not have enough tickets for who else but Cinderpete. He begged to them to let him go instead of his stepdad. But they said no. Later, they left three days before the game. Cinderpete was sad but he had someone to talk to. He called for the ten dorks. All of them except for Sleepy were gone with some girl named Snow White. Cinderpete left a note and told them he needed help. The next day, the ten dorks showed up at his house. He told them his problem and they said there were enough of them to make a football team. They went out and joined the NCAA. They went to their first game and won it. After they had played five games, they were still undefeated. They were in the championship. The next day they went to the Sugar Bowl. His brothers saw him and they were very surprised. They never made fun of him again and everybody lived happily ever after.
 |
| Jared practicing his saxophone... |
Thursday, April 5, 2012
April 5, 2002 (Friday)
Today began around 7:45. My mom called to check on Jared. She and my stepdad, Wayne, are going to come up on Sunday.
Last night before we left, Jared started breathing rapidly and his H20 stat began falling. The respiratory person came in and adjusted his machine and Cindy, his nurse, gave him morphine. He motioned that he was in pain on his side so I think he must have gotten a little anxious. We stayed a few minutes past 10:30 waiting for his H20 state to improve.
Something to remember about Jared's face: Jared's face has been covered with blood from his mouth to his chin since the first days in PICU. The nurses did not want to remove it and make it bleed more. When we came in yesterday evening after our long wait, Jared's face was clean and no longer bleeding. He still looks good this morning. Kay cleaned his lips this morning. He looks great with no active bleeding.
William left the stem cell room around 8:10. I got up and started getting ready. I went downstairs and sat with Louise and then went in the back. William and Earl were with Jared. They left and were going to send Louise back. It was a few minutes before she came back. When she did, she said that William's boss was out in the waiting area with his wife. She left and William brought his boss, Billy, back to see Jared. He asked Kay if his wife could come back too and she said yes. She came back and we talked for a few minutes and then they left. While they were here, they gave us an envelope with money that employees in William's store had raised for our family. What a gift and a blessing.
We are now waiting for the daily rounds report. The doctors are standing outside the door and about to come in. Jared is resting from the morphine. His dialysis machine is running smoothly. The only difference today is that his blood pressure is giving him problems. We will see what they say.
Dr. Winkler came in and said that Jared was about the same. One of his lungs (his right one) is compressed so they are going to put a pulmonizer on his chest to help it feel better and to hopefully open it back up. She also mentioned researching for a new drug to give Jared.
We sat with Jared a little longer and then left to go eat lunch while they suctioned Jared and did other tests. While we were gone, we talked with Rhonda, Wendy, Patrick's mom and then Wanda. We ate the manicotti that Debbie sent for lunch and then went back to Jared's room around 1:00.
Dr. Winkler came in again and changed Jared's chest dressing. She talked with us for a few minutes. She is trying to get a drug from Italy that could help Jared. There are a lot of road blocks that could stop us from getting this drug.
*I pray, Lord, that you'll make a way if Jared is to get this drug. I pray, Lord, that you'll touch Jared. I pray for healing from the top of his head to the bottom of his feet. In Jesus name. Have your way, Lord.
The respiratory lady came by and we talked with her for a few minutes. Soon it was time to leave again. William and I went upstairs and relaxed. We talked with a few people and just had some quiet time. It is now 4:25 and I'm back in Jared's room. William went downstairs for a few minutes.
*Lord, I praise your name. I thank you for what you are doing in Jared even this minute. I pray, Lord, that his lung will open and his breathing will improve. I pray that you'll touch him and have your way. In Jesus name. Amen.
It is now 10:30. We had another busy afternoon. Dr. Winkler came by to tell us about her afternoon of research on the drug to help Jared. She told us there is a certain criteria that must be met in order to get the drug. 1) Your lungs need to be in good shape. (Jared's lungs are not very healthy at the moment.) 2) Blood pressure has to be stable. (Jared's blood pressure is not stable.) 3) Must not have any excessive bleeding. (Jared's bleeding is better.) 4) You have to take this medicine before day 35 after transplant. (Jared is at day 24.) Right now Jared meets two of the four items. Dr. Winkler said we needed to pray for Jared to get healthier. She also said that we would have to got to Duke University to receive the medicine. (We will cross that bridge when we get to it.) William and I digested the info while we sat with Jared. At 6:30, we left and went to the Hope Lodge to get a room and then went to eat at Shoney's. We are both weary but hopeful. William said that he's been asking God not to take Jared. We pray for your will, Lord.
We went back to the hospital and sat with Jared. We are about to go to sleep. Pastor Lynn called and said that the kids were praying for Jared. Adam called and so did Rhonda.
*Lord, we pray for your will. Have you way in Jared. In Jesus name. I love you, Jesus!
__________________________________________________________________
Jared enjoyed seeing and spending time with all of his cousins.
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| Mandy, Jessica, Adam, Jared, Tasha |
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| April, Adam, Dustin, Jared, Kayla, Josh July 2001 |
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| Adam, Jared, Chad 2001 |
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
April 4, 2002 (Thursday)
Day 40
Last night I stayed with Jared until a little after 10:00. Earlier, I left to go call Adam and ran into the hospital chaplain. He was very solemn. At times during our conversation, I felt that I was comforting and reassuring him instead of the other way around. He prayed and then we parted. He is a nice man.William and I went upstairs to the stem cell room and laid down for the night and watched a little TV.
Pastor Lynn called around 7:00 this morning to check on Jared and tell us that Tonya had her baby; a little boy. His name is Dalton. William got up soon after.
I got up around 9:00. I was going to get a shower but decided to wait because I didn't have a towel. I changed clothes and then went down to Jared's room.
A nurse came by and said that we had a visitor. He came in for a moment and then went back to wait for William in the waiting area. (I appreciated this person coming by but I was not really wanting to see anyone or for anyone to to see Jared. Lord, I pray that you'll give us wisdom to know what to do in this situation. I know there are some that need to see Jared but sometimes not. Please give us wisdom. In Jesus name.)
The doctors starting gathering outside. William arrived soon after. They all came in and decided that Jared would need a tube to help with drainage. Lord, help them to do it accurately and correctly. I'm thinking the tube will be one more thing to be careful with. Over all, I think Jared is improving. It is still a slow process but we are trusting God all the way.
Today the kidney doctor is playing around with the dialysis machine. They are trying to pull fluids and stop the machine from clogging. The respiratory guy is about to test Jared's nutrition level through his respirator. William left to go call work. When he gets back, I'm going to get a shower.
*I thank you Lord, that I can trust you with my whole being. I will trust in you!
William came back and I left for my shower. I checked my email first and then went down the hall. After my shower, I put a load of clothes in the washing machine and then went back to Jared's room. Jared was resting. William and I decided to go eat lunch. We came back and sat with Jared. They were preparing to put Jared's tube in. We left at 2:30 and went upstairs.
At 4:00, we went back downstairs and William's Uncle Earl and Aunt Louise were waiting in the PICU lobby. We said hi and then went to check on Jared. Grace asked if we could come back in 30 minutes to an hour. We went back out and sat with Earl and Louise. We kept checking and finally were able to go back and see Jared at 6:00. We all visited with Jared and then came out at 6:30. Mark, my dad, was in the lobby. We waited on my sister, Debbie, and her husband, Patrick, and then went upstairs. Debbie had brought dinner for all of us. We came back at 8:00 and sat with Jared. It is now almost 10:00. This day has really flown by.
*Lord, I thank you for this day. I thank you for the many blessing you've given us. I thank you for Jared and that he is in your hands. I thank you that he successfully made it through his line surgery. Have your way in Jesus name. Amen.
Last night I stayed with Jared until a little after 10:00. Earlier, I left to go call Adam and ran into the hospital chaplain. He was very solemn. At times during our conversation, I felt that I was comforting and reassuring him instead of the other way around. He prayed and then we parted. He is a nice man.William and I went upstairs to the stem cell room and laid down for the night and watched a little TV.
Pastor Lynn called around 7:00 this morning to check on Jared and tell us that Tonya had her baby; a little boy. His name is Dalton. William got up soon after.
I got up around 9:00. I was going to get a shower but decided to wait because I didn't have a towel. I changed clothes and then went down to Jared's room.
A nurse came by and said that we had a visitor. He came in for a moment and then went back to wait for William in the waiting area. (I appreciated this person coming by but I was not really wanting to see anyone or for anyone to to see Jared. Lord, I pray that you'll give us wisdom to know what to do in this situation. I know there are some that need to see Jared but sometimes not. Please give us wisdom. In Jesus name.)
The doctors starting gathering outside. William arrived soon after. They all came in and decided that Jared would need a tube to help with drainage. Lord, help them to do it accurately and correctly. I'm thinking the tube will be one more thing to be careful with. Over all, I think Jared is improving. It is still a slow process but we are trusting God all the way.
Today the kidney doctor is playing around with the dialysis machine. They are trying to pull fluids and stop the machine from clogging. The respiratory guy is about to test Jared's nutrition level through his respirator. William left to go call work. When he gets back, I'm going to get a shower.
 |
| Jared and Rudy - 1998 |
William came back and I left for my shower. I checked my email first and then went down the hall. After my shower, I put a load of clothes in the washing machine and then went back to Jared's room. Jared was resting. William and I decided to go eat lunch. We came back and sat with Jared. They were preparing to put Jared's tube in. We left at 2:30 and went upstairs.
At 4:00, we went back downstairs and William's Uncle Earl and Aunt Louise were waiting in the PICU lobby. We said hi and then went to check on Jared. Grace asked if we could come back in 30 minutes to an hour. We went back out and sat with Earl and Louise. We kept checking and finally were able to go back and see Jared at 6:00. We all visited with Jared and then came out at 6:30. Mark, my dad, was in the lobby. We waited on my sister, Debbie, and her husband, Patrick, and then went upstairs. Debbie had brought dinner for all of us. We came back at 8:00 and sat with Jared. It is now almost 10:00. This day has really flown by.
*Lord, I thank you for this day. I thank you for the many blessing you've given us. I thank you for Jared and that he is in your hands. I thank you that he successfully made it through his line surgery. Have your way in Jesus name. Amen.
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
April 3, 2002 (Wednesday)
Day 39
Last night I went back to the stem cell room and got ready for bed (or should I saw fold out chair.) William came to the room soon after. We all settled for the night. Adam called at 6:35 this morning. He wanted to stay home from school but I told him to go and come home if he didn't feel better. He then called because he couldn't find his jacket. I encouraged him the best I could.
We rested a little longer and then William got up. I was up soon after. I went down to Jared's room at 9:00. William and I are now sitting here in Jared's room. I'm writing in my journal and William is reading the Bible.
*Lord, I pray for your will. I pray for Jared. Touch him today. Have your way in his life. I thank you for the life you are pouring into Jared and what you will continue to pour into him. Lord, TOUCH him! DRAW him! PROTECT him! I pray that his bilirubin level willl start going down. I pray that his liver will return to its normal size. I pray that every place that is occluded will be healed and will perform its proper job. I pray for Jared's kidneys that they'll begin to work properly without the dialysis. I pray, Lord, that Jared will begin to urinate on his own. I pray Lord that Jared's swelling will start to fade and that all fluid that is not necessary for health and well being will be gone. I pray for your will in Jared. Touch him in Jesus name. Lord, touch Adam today! Strengthen him and give him grace to walk. Help him to trust you with his whole heart. Have your way in our family. In Jesus name. Amen.
It is now 9:00 at night. Dr. Shipp came in this morning and said he was encouraged that Jared had not gotten any worse. He feels that Jared has plateaued for the moment. They are going to continue everything and start trying to take off more fluid. Rhonda was in here when he came by. William came in before he left.
Grace was our nurse again. She had a busy day with Jared's dialysis machine alarm going off, etc. I left soon after and had lunch with Rhonda. She was trying to decide whether to leave or stay until tomorrow. She finally decided to go home.
I left for PICU and ran into Norman, William's brother, before I got on the elevator. We went to PICU and I left him with William. I went back a little later and asked if they wanted to go eat so they left soon after. Karen and Dr. Reddy came by. They sat for a few minutes talking. They both seemed encouraged with Jared's progress.
Around 2:00, I left to take Rhonda to the airport. I got back and had a hard time parking in the garage and finally ended up on the top floor. William and Norman left to go buy hubcaps for the van. I went upstairs to the stem cell room and then went back to Jared's room at 4:00.
Jared's bilirubin level is staying in the mid 30's. He was very alert earlier today. So much so that Dr. Winkler requested his right arm be restrained so he would not remove his new art line. He was awake a lot this morning.
William and Norman came back. They visited with Jared while I sat in the waiting area. Norman left soon after and I went back with Jared.
William and I went back to the room at 6:30. I saw Angela. She said that Larry and she would be going to the Hope Lodge on Monday. That is good news.
Harry Koncar brought dinner again. It was great. He said that they would continue to pray. William and I ate in our room. On the way to eat, I was thinking about how serious things are with Jared. He has a machine to help him breath, a machine to help his kidneys and problems with his liver. Earlier today, I spent time reading my Guideposts magazine. It had two articles relating to a child having cancer and a lady having liver disease. They both sort of hit home with me. I realized while thinking about this that God is in control and nothing is too hard for him.
*For some reason, you are allowing this, Lord. Help me to be an instrument. In Jesus name. Amen.
William and I came back to Jared's room at 8:00. We sat with him for a few minutes and then William left to get Jared's other comforter. I stayed and watched the Amazing Race. William came back and brought the comforter and then went back to call Adam and put the other comforter in the washing machine. I'm sitting here with Jared.
*Lord, I thank you for this day. I thank you for friends and family. I pray for your will. In Jesus name.
Rhonda called when she got home. She made it home safely.
Last night I went back to the stem cell room and got ready for bed (or should I saw fold out chair.) William came to the room soon after. We all settled for the night. Adam called at 6:35 this morning. He wanted to stay home from school but I told him to go and come home if he didn't feel better. He then called because he couldn't find his jacket. I encouraged him the best I could.
We rested a little longer and then William got up. I was up soon after. I went down to Jared's room at 9:00. William and I are now sitting here in Jared's room. I'm writing in my journal and William is reading the Bible.
*Lord, I pray for your will. I pray for Jared. Touch him today. Have your way in his life. I thank you for the life you are pouring into Jared and what you will continue to pour into him. Lord, TOUCH him! DRAW him! PROTECT him! I pray that his bilirubin level willl start going down. I pray that his liver will return to its normal size. I pray that every place that is occluded will be healed and will perform its proper job. I pray for Jared's kidneys that they'll begin to work properly without the dialysis. I pray, Lord, that Jared will begin to urinate on his own. I pray Lord that Jared's swelling will start to fade and that all fluid that is not necessary for health and well being will be gone. I pray for your will in Jared. Touch him in Jesus name. Lord, touch Adam today! Strengthen him and give him grace to walk. Help him to trust you with his whole heart. Have your way in our family. In Jesus name. Amen.
It is now 9:00 at night. Dr. Shipp came in this morning and said he was encouraged that Jared had not gotten any worse. He feels that Jared has plateaued for the moment. They are going to continue everything and start trying to take off more fluid. Rhonda was in here when he came by. William came in before he left.
Grace was our nurse again. She had a busy day with Jared's dialysis machine alarm going off, etc. I left soon after and had lunch with Rhonda. She was trying to decide whether to leave or stay until tomorrow. She finally decided to go home.
I left for PICU and ran into Norman, William's brother, before I got on the elevator. We went to PICU and I left him with William. I went back a little later and asked if they wanted to go eat so they left soon after. Karen and Dr. Reddy came by. They sat for a few minutes talking. They both seemed encouraged with Jared's progress.
Around 2:00, I left to take Rhonda to the airport. I got back and had a hard time parking in the garage and finally ended up on the top floor. William and Norman left to go buy hubcaps for the van. I went upstairs to the stem cell room and then went back to Jared's room at 4:00.
Jared's bilirubin level is staying in the mid 30's. He was very alert earlier today. So much so that Dr. Winkler requested his right arm be restrained so he would not remove his new art line. He was awake a lot this morning.
William and Norman came back. They visited with Jared while I sat in the waiting area. Norman left soon after and I went back with Jared.
 |
| Our Cool Dude |
Harry Koncar brought dinner again. It was great. He said that they would continue to pray. William and I ate in our room. On the way to eat, I was thinking about how serious things are with Jared. He has a machine to help him breath, a machine to help his kidneys and problems with his liver. Earlier today, I spent time reading my Guideposts magazine. It had two articles relating to a child having cancer and a lady having liver disease. They both sort of hit home with me. I realized while thinking about this that God is in control and nothing is too hard for him.
*For some reason, you are allowing this, Lord. Help me to be an instrument. In Jesus name. Amen.
William and I came back to Jared's room at 8:00. We sat with him for a few minutes and then William left to get Jared's other comforter. I stayed and watched the Amazing Race. William came back and brought the comforter and then went back to call Adam and put the other comforter in the washing machine. I'm sitting here with Jared.
*Lord, I thank you for this day. I thank you for friends and family. I pray for your will. In Jesus name.
Rhonda called when she got home. She made it home safely.
Monday, April 2, 2012
April 2, 2002 (Tuesday)
Day 38
I did not sleep very well last night. I slept hard when I did sleep so now I feel like I'm in a fog. William came back from Jared's room around 2:00. He said that Jared's art line (used to monitor blood pressure) was not working so they took it out. He said the dialysis machine alarm went off several times too. I asked him if he wanted me to go stay with Jared but he said that was okay. He then told me I could if I wanted. I decided to sleep so I would be able to function today.
Around 6:30, someone called and asked for Rhonda. They said they would call back. The nurse, John, called at 6:45 and said that Jared's dialysis machine wasn't working so he would be off dialysis until they could get a new one. The next call was from Adam. His stomach and back were hurting when he breathed deeply so I told him to stay home from school and rest. My stepmom, Joyce, is staying with him at our house so he can go to school this week. I talked with Joyce and she was going to give Adam some medicine for his tummy.
I went back to sleep and then got up around 8:20. I hurriedly got ready and came to PICU. Jared was sleeping. He looks worn out. I guess from the morphine. It's been over two hours since the dialysis machine stopped working. We are waiting for a new machine. Jared's art line is still out so he has a blood pressure cuff on. His abdomen looks bigger. Grace suctioned his breathing tube at 9:00 and took blood.
*Lord, I pray for you to have your way today. Things are looking rough here. Have your way. Help me to trust all the way through. In Jesus name. Amen.
I'm feeling a little frustrated right now.
*Lord, Please touch Jared. Strengthen him. Have your way. I know that you are able to heal Jared. I just don't know your will for him. I think it is to heal Jared. I feel in my heart it is. Have your way in him. I will continue to believe in my heart that Jared will be healed. I give him to you and thank you for what you're going to do. In Jesus name. Amen.
Jared's oxygen level is lower today.
*Have your way, Lord. In Jesus name. Amen.
It is now 10:00 at night. Today has been an emotional day. The doctors made rounds this morning. Dr. Shipp cme in first and said that all the stem cell doctors believed that Jared had a chance for his liver to recover. He also told us that the doctors in PICU were more impatient and wanted quicker results. Dr. Winkler came in soon after and said that she thought Jared's liver would not recover. That was sobering but not shocking to hear. William and I were both a little upset. Jared's numbers were about the same. Dr. Winkler said that she would take the fluid from his chest this morning as well as put in the new art line.
Soon after they left I had to leave Jared's room because another patient was having problems. We later found out that a four month old baby with pneumonia had died. Rhonda had met the mom in the waiting area. I told Rhonda when she came back to the room. She had just been talking with the mom downstairs.
William and Rhonda soon left and I took a shower. I was really upset and God reminded me of the Shunammite woman (2 Kings 4). I came back to Jared's room and read the scripture to him and William. Soon after Brother Lynn arrived.
Rhonda and I went to lunch while Pastor Lynn stayed with William. We came back and William and Pastor Lynn went to lunch. We stayed with Jared and then went upstairs and took a break until a little after 4:00. When we were coming through, Mark, Debbie and Patrick were in the waiting area. Pastor Lynn left soon after.
We all took turns sitting with Jared. Later, William and I were the only ones in the room. Jared was pretty restless and was trying to tell us something. With the breathing tube, it was difficult for us to figure out what he was saying.
We left at 6:40 and all decided to go eat pizza. We had a nice meal and then came back to the hospital. Mark, Debbie and Patrick took turns coming back to see Jared and then they left. Rhonda came back and then Eldon Johnson came to visit. He is Aunt Elsie's pastor. We talked for a little while and then he left.
I sat with Jared. Around 10:00, his dialysis machine malfunctioned again. It is now 10:20 and we are waiting for the repair person. Mary Lucia told us that Jared's chest fluid was okay. It didn't have any bacteria, etc. in it. His bilirubin is now at 35. We are holding on for the miracle God is performing in Jared. Thank you, Lord.
__________________________________________________________
From: Lisa, William, Adam and Jared
Sent: Tuesday, April 2, 2002 12:21 p.m.
Subject: Jared Update
Hello everyone! I hope that all of you are well and enjoying the arrival of spring time weather. We are continuing the battle here in Birmingham. The doctors are doing all they know to do. They are encouraged that he isn't getting worse but still he's not improving either. Our stem cell doctors are still hopeful but the PICU doctor is not.
WE WILL REMAIN HOPEFUL!
Please continue to pray for Jared. Thanks for all the support!
From: Louise Jones
Subject: Re: Jared Update
We will remain hopeful with all of you. I still believe in miracles. Please give Jared our love.
From: Melinda
Subject: Re: Jared Update
Hello. Thanks for the note. You are all continually in our prayers and on the prayer list of friends. We love you all and hope that Jared will continually get better and have a complete turn around. Much love.
From: Diane
Subject: Re: Jared Update
Dear Lisa and Family:
We will maintain hope with you, for God is the ultimate healer. Praise Him for Jared not getting worse and holding his own. "Praise the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits -- who forgives all your sins and heals your diseases." Psalm 103:2,3 Love to you all. May His strength maintain you and continue to lift your arms as Moses' arms were lifted in His time of need. Love, Diane
From: Myra, Mike and Jeremy
Subject: Re: Jared Update
Hello guys! We are all so very grateful for your notes about Jared's progress. He is in our thoughts and prayers, as you all are. It is indeed good news that Jared's condition is steady. His youth will give him strength through all this. We, too, are hopeful for his full recovery. Until then, please know, you are all in our hearts each day. Please keep in touch whenever you can. We do so look forward to your emails. Love to all.
From: Deborah
Subject: Re: Jared Update
Dear Lisa. Just wanted yall to know that you are being thought of every hour of every day. You're all in our prayers!!! I haven't been emailing you because I know that your time on the computer is not where you need to be. Just wanted you to know that I've gotten all the emails from you and all. Thanks. I just pray and hope for an updated email to know how yall are. I Love Ya!!!
From: Wendy
Subject: Re: Jared Update
Hey Lisa! Thanks for the note and thanks for being so gracious to us last night. We enjoyed our time together. I have loved "The Sangsters" all my life, and that love certainly extends to you and your boys. Your faith is REAL and God's grace is sufficient for all things. I'm still praying and believing for many miracles to come out of Jared's cancer. And God's presence with you was so evident last night! I know I will never forget the events that transpired. Truly God provides for His children. Whatever we need, whenever the need arises, God provides. It would be unlike His nature to do anything else. Keep us posted when you have the chance. And know that there are many, many others praying for a miracle. I praise the Lord for the statement that I heard from your lips - either way, Jared wins. That certainly is a blessed hope and assurance. What a testimony your little man is living, and before the lives of so many! We are praying, trusting and believing with you! Much love, Wendy
From: Sue and Gene
Sent: Tuesday, April 2, 2002 1:58 p.m.
Subject: Re: Jared Update
William and Lisa,
I'm so glad that Wendy and Eric were able to drive over yesterday; wish we all could. I just read your latest update on Jared and appreciate so much your taking the time to keep us all informed. All four of you have been in our thoughts and prayers for all these months, and that will continue to be the case.
We have talked quite extensively with Dess the past two nights so she has passed on the events surrounding Jared also. Please know we love each of you and still have hope right along with you.
Take care and God Bless.
I did not sleep very well last night. I slept hard when I did sleep so now I feel like I'm in a fog. William came back from Jared's room around 2:00. He said that Jared's art line (used to monitor blood pressure) was not working so they took it out. He said the dialysis machine alarm went off several times too. I asked him if he wanted me to go stay with Jared but he said that was okay. He then told me I could if I wanted. I decided to sleep so I would be able to function today.
Around 6:30, someone called and asked for Rhonda. They said they would call back. The nurse, John, called at 6:45 and said that Jared's dialysis machine wasn't working so he would be off dialysis until they could get a new one. The next call was from Adam. His stomach and back were hurting when he breathed deeply so I told him to stay home from school and rest. My stepmom, Joyce, is staying with him at our house so he can go to school this week. I talked with Joyce and she was going to give Adam some medicine for his tummy.
I went back to sleep and then got up around 8:20. I hurriedly got ready and came to PICU. Jared was sleeping. He looks worn out. I guess from the morphine. It's been over two hours since the dialysis machine stopped working. We are waiting for a new machine. Jared's art line is still out so he has a blood pressure cuff on. His abdomen looks bigger. Grace suctioned his breathing tube at 9:00 and took blood.
*Lord, I pray for you to have your way today. Things are looking rough here. Have your way. Help me to trust all the way through. In Jesus name. Amen.
I'm feeling a little frustrated right now.
*Lord, Please touch Jared. Strengthen him. Have your way. I know that you are able to heal Jared. I just don't know your will for him. I think it is to heal Jared. I feel in my heart it is. Have your way in him. I will continue to believe in my heart that Jared will be healed. I give him to you and thank you for what you're going to do. In Jesus name. Amen.
Jared's oxygen level is lower today.
*Have your way, Lord. In Jesus name. Amen.
It is now 10:00 at night. Today has been an emotional day. The doctors made rounds this morning. Dr. Shipp cme in first and said that all the stem cell doctors believed that Jared had a chance for his liver to recover. He also told us that the doctors in PICU were more impatient and wanted quicker results. Dr. Winkler came in soon after and said that she thought Jared's liver would not recover. That was sobering but not shocking to hear. William and I were both a little upset. Jared's numbers were about the same. Dr. Winkler said that she would take the fluid from his chest this morning as well as put in the new art line.
Soon after they left I had to leave Jared's room because another patient was having problems. We later found out that a four month old baby with pneumonia had died. Rhonda had met the mom in the waiting area. I told Rhonda when she came back to the room. She had just been talking with the mom downstairs.
William and Rhonda soon left and I took a shower. I was really upset and God reminded me of the Shunammite woman (2 Kings 4). I came back to Jared's room and read the scripture to him and William. Soon after Brother Lynn arrived.
Rhonda and I went to lunch while Pastor Lynn stayed with William. We came back and William and Pastor Lynn went to lunch. We stayed with Jared and then went upstairs and took a break until a little after 4:00. When we were coming through, Mark, Debbie and Patrick were in the waiting area. Pastor Lynn left soon after.
We all took turns sitting with Jared. Later, William and I were the only ones in the room. Jared was pretty restless and was trying to tell us something. With the breathing tube, it was difficult for us to figure out what he was saying.
We left at 6:40 and all decided to go eat pizza. We had a nice meal and then came back to the hospital. Mark, Debbie and Patrick took turns coming back to see Jared and then they left. Rhonda came back and then Eldon Johnson came to visit. He is Aunt Elsie's pastor. We talked for a little while and then he left.
I sat with Jared. Around 10:00, his dialysis machine malfunctioned again. It is now 10:20 and we are waiting for the repair person. Mary Lucia told us that Jared's chest fluid was okay. It didn't have any bacteria, etc. in it. His bilirubin is now at 35. We are holding on for the miracle God is performing in Jared. Thank you, Lord.
__________________________________________________________
From: Lisa, William, Adam and Jared
Sent: Tuesday, April 2, 2002 12:21 p.m.
Subject: Jared Update
Hello everyone! I hope that all of you are well and enjoying the arrival of spring time weather. We are continuing the battle here in Birmingham. The doctors are doing all they know to do. They are encouraged that he isn't getting worse but still he's not improving either. Our stem cell doctors are still hopeful but the PICU doctor is not.
WE WILL REMAIN HOPEFUL!
Please continue to pray for Jared. Thanks for all the support!
From: Louise Jones
Subject: Re: Jared Update
We will remain hopeful with all of you. I still believe in miracles. Please give Jared our love.
From: Melinda
Subject: Re: Jared Update
Hello. Thanks for the note. You are all continually in our prayers and on the prayer list of friends. We love you all and hope that Jared will continually get better and have a complete turn around. Much love.
From: Diane
Subject: Re: Jared Update
 |
| Minnesota Snow - January 2002 |
Dear Lisa and Family:
We will maintain hope with you, for God is the ultimate healer. Praise Him for Jared not getting worse and holding his own. "Praise the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits -- who forgives all your sins and heals your diseases." Psalm 103:2,3 Love to you all. May His strength maintain you and continue to lift your arms as Moses' arms were lifted in His time of need. Love, Diane
From: Myra, Mike and Jeremy
Subject: Re: Jared Update
Hello guys! We are all so very grateful for your notes about Jared's progress. He is in our thoughts and prayers, as you all are. It is indeed good news that Jared's condition is steady. His youth will give him strength through all this. We, too, are hopeful for his full recovery. Until then, please know, you are all in our hearts each day. Please keep in touch whenever you can. We do so look forward to your emails. Love to all.
From: Deborah
Subject: Re: Jared Update
Dear Lisa. Just wanted yall to know that you are being thought of every hour of every day. You're all in our prayers!!! I haven't been emailing you because I know that your time on the computer is not where you need to be. Just wanted you to know that I've gotten all the emails from you and all. Thanks. I just pray and hope for an updated email to know how yall are. I Love Ya!!!
From: Wendy
Subject: Re: Jared Update
Hey Lisa! Thanks for the note and thanks for being so gracious to us last night. We enjoyed our time together. I have loved "The Sangsters" all my life, and that love certainly extends to you and your boys. Your faith is REAL and God's grace is sufficient for all things. I'm still praying and believing for many miracles to come out of Jared's cancer. And God's presence with you was so evident last night! I know I will never forget the events that transpired. Truly God provides for His children. Whatever we need, whenever the need arises, God provides. It would be unlike His nature to do anything else. Keep us posted when you have the chance. And know that there are many, many others praying for a miracle. I praise the Lord for the statement that I heard from your lips - either way, Jared wins. That certainly is a blessed hope and assurance. What a testimony your little man is living, and before the lives of so many! We are praying, trusting and believing with you! Much love, Wendy
From: Sue and Gene
Sent: Tuesday, April 2, 2002 1:58 p.m.
Subject: Re: Jared Update
William and Lisa,
I'm so glad that Wendy and Eric were able to drive over yesterday; wish we all could. I just read your latest update on Jared and appreciate so much your taking the time to keep us all informed. All four of you have been in our thoughts and prayers for all these months, and that will continue to be the case.
We have talked quite extensively with Dess the past two nights so she has passed on the events surrounding Jared also. Please know we love each of you and still have hope right along with you.
Take care and God Bless.
Sunday, April 1, 2012
April 1, 2002 (Monday)
Day 37
Today began early. Rhonda got up and and went to get her shower while I just laid there. I did not sleep very well last night. It was my first night sleeping in the stem cell room without Jared.
I finally got up a little before 8:00 and changed. We went downstairs to the cafeteria and had coffee and grits while we waited for visiting hours to begin at 8:30.
We went back to Jared's room and sat with him. The doctors came in around 10:00. Dr. Winkler is the new PICU doctor. Dr. Shipp is taking over for Dr. May along with Dr. Gratias. They came in and said they were going to do a few tests today. They are going to check Jared's heart, recheck his liver, take fluid from his lungs/chest area and start physical therapy. Dr. Shipp said that he and Dr. Reddy would be by later.
Rhonda and I sat with Jared a little longer. The physical therapists came by and worked with Jared for a few minutes. They also put a boot on his foot to help with a pressure sore on his heel. The dialysis nurse then came in and changed Jared's lines.
Susan, the nurse, was about to suction Jared's breathing tube so Rhonda and I left for a little while. I called William to check on him. He was about an hour away. We sat in the lobby for a moment and then came back to Jared's room. I had to sign a permission slip for the lung test.
We sat quietly for a few hours. Dr. Reddy and Karen came by to see Jared. They were shocked that Jared was in PICU. They left and it is now close to 1:00 so we will be leaving soon.
*Lord, please watch over Jared today. I thank you that you are with him. Keep him safe. Give the doctors wisdom. Have your way. In Jesus name. Amen.
William arrived around 1:00. We all sat with Jared and then left for lunch. The doctors were going to perform the test on Jared's chest. We went upstairs and then decided to check on Jared again before walking to Burger King for lunch. We ate and came back. We checked on Jared again and then went upstairs. Rhonda has decided to stay a few more days. She talked with Doug and he told her to stay.
We sat around until a little after 4:00 and then went back to PICU. Dess had called earlier and said Wendy and Eric, William's cousins, were coming. Rhonda and I went back to see Jared. William soon came in with Wendy. Rhonda went to the waiting area and then I went. I found Eric and introduced him to Rhonda. We talked for a few minutes and then Wendy came out and Eric went back. When he came out, I went back and stayed with Jared until 6:30. The doctors have decided to wait and perform the chest procedure tomorrow.
We all left and went to Shoney's for dinner. We went in our van to the restaurant. After eating, we all got in the van to head back to the hospital. The van would not start. William and Eric got out and started looking under the hood. A guy walked up and asked William what was going on. He then told William that he could fix the van. Rhonda, Wendy and I were sitting inside the van. We were amazed that a mechanic walked up right when we needed one. The guy showed William something under the hood with the computer module. He then told William to try the engine. It started. We were all totally awed at God's timing. William and Eric both gave the guy some money for helping us. The guy had said when he first walked up that it was his daughter's 16th birthday.
We all rode back to the hospital talking and praising God that he provided a mechanic for us. We got back to the parking deck and told Wendy and Eric bye. William went to take a break while Rhonda and I went back to PICU.
Earlier William had talked to Dr. Gratias. He told William that it looked like Jared had 60/40 chance now. When William came to PICU, he told me about a lady that he had just met. He told her about Jared and she gave him the following verse on a piece of paper... "I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living." Psalm 27:13. I started to cry when I read it. I could tell that William was touched also.
We sat with Jared and talked. We left around 10:30. Jared did not want us to leave. We prayed for Jared before we left.
*I thank you, Lord, that you will hear and answer our prayer.
We came back to the room. It is now 12:10. William went back downstairs to see Jared.
*Lord, I thank you. I pray for your will in Jared, William, Adam and me. Please rescue Jared. I thank you that He will be healed from his head to his toe. Have your way. Lord, protect William. Touch him, I pray. In Jesus name. Amen.
Today began early. Rhonda got up and and went to get her shower while I just laid there. I did not sleep very well last night. It was my first night sleeping in the stem cell room without Jared.
I finally got up a little before 8:00 and changed. We went downstairs to the cafeteria and had coffee and grits while we waited for visiting hours to begin at 8:30.
We went back to Jared's room and sat with him. The doctors came in around 10:00. Dr. Winkler is the new PICU doctor. Dr. Shipp is taking over for Dr. May along with Dr. Gratias. They came in and said they were going to do a few tests today. They are going to check Jared's heart, recheck his liver, take fluid from his lungs/chest area and start physical therapy. Dr. Shipp said that he and Dr. Reddy would be by later.
Rhonda and I sat with Jared a little longer. The physical therapists came by and worked with Jared for a few minutes. They also put a boot on his foot to help with a pressure sore on his heel. The dialysis nurse then came in and changed Jared's lines.
Susan, the nurse, was about to suction Jared's breathing tube so Rhonda and I left for a little while. I called William to check on him. He was about an hour away. We sat in the lobby for a moment and then came back to Jared's room. I had to sign a permission slip for the lung test.
We sat quietly for a few hours. Dr. Reddy and Karen came by to see Jared. They were shocked that Jared was in PICU. They left and it is now close to 1:00 so we will be leaving soon.
*Lord, please watch over Jared today. I thank you that you are with him. Keep him safe. Give the doctors wisdom. Have your way. In Jesus name. Amen.
William arrived around 1:00. We all sat with Jared and then left for lunch. The doctors were going to perform the test on Jared's chest. We went upstairs and then decided to check on Jared again before walking to Burger King for lunch. We ate and came back. We checked on Jared again and then went upstairs. Rhonda has decided to stay a few more days. She talked with Doug and he told her to stay.
We sat around until a little after 4:00 and then went back to PICU. Dess had called earlier and said Wendy and Eric, William's cousins, were coming. Rhonda and I went back to see Jared. William soon came in with Wendy. Rhonda went to the waiting area and then I went. I found Eric and introduced him to Rhonda. We talked for a few minutes and then Wendy came out and Eric went back. When he came out, I went back and stayed with Jared until 6:30. The doctors have decided to wait and perform the chest procedure tomorrow.
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| Hunting on the Tensaw (Another favorite picture) |
We all rode back to the hospital talking and praising God that he provided a mechanic for us. We got back to the parking deck and told Wendy and Eric bye. William went to take a break while Rhonda and I went back to PICU.
Earlier William had talked to Dr. Gratias. He told William that it looked like Jared had 60/40 chance now. When William came to PICU, he told me about a lady that he had just met. He told her about Jared and she gave him the following verse on a piece of paper... "I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living." Psalm 27:13. I started to cry when I read it. I could tell that William was touched also.
We sat with Jared and talked. We left around 10:30. Jared did not want us to leave. We prayed for Jared before we left.
*I thank you, Lord, that you will hear and answer our prayer.
We came back to the room. It is now 12:10. William went back downstairs to see Jared.
*Lord, I thank you. I pray for your will in Jared, William, Adam and me. Please rescue Jared. I thank you that He will be healed from his head to his toe. Have your way. Lord, protect William. Touch him, I pray. In Jesus name. Amen.
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