April 13-14, 2002 (Saturday & Sunday)

Since coming home early Thursday morning, our house was filled with people, noise and activity. Most of our family members made the trip to celebrate and remember Jared. Our days were busy from morning to night.

We made funeral arrangements and decided what clothes Jared would wear. We picked an orange shirt since he was a Florida gator fan and khaki shorts. We went with a representative from the cemetery to pick out a burial site. We looked at sites with four spaces so we could put an upright monument on Jared's grave. We finally picked a spot that had a tree nearby and was close to an open field.

We also had to plan Jared's funeral service. We knew that our church sanctuary would not hold everyone that wanted to attend the funeral so Pastor Lynn asked another nearby church if we could hold Jared's funeral in their sanctuary. They were very gracious and allowed us to use their church.

We decided to have recorded instead of live music. We picked the songs "I Can Only Imagine" by Mercy Me and "Found a Place" by FFH. We needed one more song. I thought about the movie Cast Away and the instrumental music that Jared liked at the end. That led me to a CD by Steven Curtis Chapman that had an instrumental song that we both liked. While I was looking for the CD, Rhonda said it would be great if we could find a song that had a child singing the ABCs. We were thinking about that when I put in the CD. I started clicking the button to find the instrumental. As we went through the songs, we stopped as we heard a child's voice singing the ABCs. We had found the third song.We selected pictures of Jared to be shown during each song.

William had written a poem on the way home from the hospital that he was going to read. I wrote a few paragraphs about Jared and asked Michelle if she would read for me. Dess prepared the program for the funeral.

The wake was Saturday night. The family met at the funeral home at 5:00 and others came between 6:00 and 8:00.  I don't remember my response when I first saw Jared. I do remember that I stood right beside his casket and greeted every family member as they can to see him. I did not make a conscious decision to stay there. I had to stay there and I was not going to leave. William and I decided to close the casket at 6:00 before others started to come in. We felt that Jared would want it that way. Once it was closed, I felt released to move away from the casket. I didn't go far.

William, Adam and I stood beside each other and greeted everyone as they came in to see Jared. We were in line for a long time. We were grateful for the love and support that was extended to our family. I remember one group of teenagers coming in. I guess they went to school with Jared. They left a bouquet of small yellow roses on top of the casket. (I still have them today.) The wake ended at 8:00. We went back to the house.

We have many talented musicians in our family. During the days leading up to the funeral, music could be heard coming from our garage as William's brothers and my Uncle Tom played their guitars and everyone sang. It was a good time of fellowship for everyone. I stayed inside mostly but went out every once in a while.

Another memory from our house full of family and friends involved our miniature pincher. Rudy is a beggar. He is drawn to the delightful smells of food, any food. With so many people in the house, Rudy was getting fed more than normal. His little belly started getting rounder and rounder. William's solution was to put a note on Rudy's collar that said, "Please don't feed me." I smile as I type and remember.

Funeral day arrived. William, Rhonda, Doug and I went to church. It was nice to be back. After church, we went to the house and then to the funeral home to see Jared again before the casket was closed for the last time. That was hard.

It was time to leave for the funeral. All of the family went to a back room in the church and waited. We were told it was time. I started to cry as we walked into the sanctuary but then stopped. I did not cry again.

We all sat down. The funeral began.

All of Jared's uncles, William Bazzell, David Sangster, John Sangster, Norman Sangster and Doug Hobbs served as pallbearers as well as Alan Tillman, Jared's commander in Royal Rangers (an Assemblies of God ministry for boys that is similar to Boy Scouts).

The Royal Rangers Honor Guard came in carrying flags. Jared was in Royal Rangers for many years.

Pastor Lynn greeted everyone and read Jared's obituary. I had asked him to warn everyone that the music would not be the normal funeral songs. He did reminding everyone that Jared was almost fourteen when he died.

The first song played: "I Can Only Imagine" by Mercy Me

William then went to the podium and read his poem:

"The Perfect Son"

This is a short story 

about a perfect son,

who left behind

"a perfect brother" 

and "a perfect mother."

It all started back 

in May of 2001,

When a brain tumor was found 

in my perfect son.

Jared was knocked down

but kept standing back up,

by surgery, by chemo,

by radiation and such.

He had courage, was brave,

and still kept his cool.

Jared even continued

his studying and school.

He had shot after shot,

pain with more pain,

and still stood up

and didn't even complain.

People from all over

came to his side,

they offered our family

help with this amazing ride.

People are perfect 

in more ways than one,

just ask me, my wife,

or my other perfect son.

We were told

a stem cell transplant

would  be the answer

to his cancer.

All along,

We didn't know,

that this would be

Jared's "Final Blow."

During his treatment,

his liver became sick

and this caused other problems

which happened real quick.

My perfect son, Jared,

continued his fight

with perfect friends,

family and nice people-

shining a helpful light.

Jared's body quit working 

on April 10, 2002,

in the afternoon 

at 5:22.

My perfect son, Jared

gave me his last live hug,

when I had him in my arms

he passed away.

I'm proud of Jared

and I'm sure most of you are, too.

I'm very thankful to my family,

my friends and perfect people like you.

You see, my son, Jared was perfect

and his mother, Lisa, is too.

His older brother, Adam, is perfect

and so are nice people like you.

-WRS-

The second song played: "With Hope" by Steven Curtis Chapman

Michelle Murphy came to the podium to read:

"Mom's Remembrance"

Today I celebrate, remember and honor the life of my son, Jared Michael Sangster. His life on this earth was short but nevertheless he made a tremendous impact on many. My journey with Jared began on Mother's day, may 8, 1988. A special gift on a special day. He was a delightful baby; sweet tempered, doing all the normal things that babies do. As he grew, Jared delighted us all with his sunny smile and very strong will. He faced many challenges. He had eczema, a skin condition, as well as asthma, which required many trips to the doctor. Through everything, Jared endeared himself to his family each and every day.

Jared's battle with cancer began in May of last year. He handled himself with grace and strength. All along the way, he did what he had to do, chemo, radiation, and eventually a stem cell transplant. I consider it an honor that I made this journey with him. Looking back, I see that Jared made so many things easier for me because he never complained. He had his bad days but Jared never refused to do the necessary procedures, treatments, and surgeries that were part of his life. He knew what he had to do and he did it.

When I told Jared at the very beginning that he had cancer, he looked at me with a small grin and said, "no fear." Those two words say a lot about Jared. Even though at times he did have fear, he would refuse to give in to it. We would talk about whatever was bothering him, pray, and then continue with our day. Jared's faith in God gave him strength to endure. Now, his faith has given him a new home in heaven. I will miss him but I will see him again one day.  -LOS-

Pastor Lynn then spoke words of hope and comfort to everyone.

The last song played: "Found a Place" by FFH

Jared's Message was played (William compiled from messages Jared sent in December 2001)

"This is Jared... Thanks for the gifts that you gave to my family. It helped out a lot. Thank  you very much. There are a lot of nice people in this world and you must be one of them. 

I look forward to seeing you soon."

Pastor Lynn closed with prayer.

I'll continue tomorrow. Have a blessed Sunday. He is risen.