March 31, 2002 (Easter Sunday)

Day 36

It is now Monday. I forgot to write last night so I'll do my best to remember the events from yesterday. We were up around 8:00 and all got ready. Dess decided to leave her things at the Hope Lodge and pick up later.

We got to the hospital around 10:00 and went upstairs to put up our bags. I gave Adam his Easter basket and then went downstairs. Kimberly came down with us to drop off Jared's Easter basket.

William came in and we waited for Dr. May. He said things were the same. I asked if Dr. Shipp would be taking over and he said yes. After he left, William and I stayed until Grace asked us to leave so she could change Jared's bandages, etc. The burn nurse came to help with Jared's skin.

Everyone went to eat and then came back to the hospital. John, William's brother, had called and said he was close by. William had planned on leaving earlier to take Adam home but decided to wait and see John. I said hi to John and his girlfriend, Debbie, when they arrived and then went upstairs to work on bills so William could mail later. (Still have to pay those bills.) Adam and Rhonda went up with us.

Around 2:00, we went downstairs and visited with Jared again and then all left at 2:30. John and Debbie left with William and Adam. They were all heading back home.

Rhonda, Tom, Dess and I went to the Hope Lodge and checked out. They left for home. Rhonda and I went to Starbucks for coffee. We went back to the hospital and sat in the van for a few minutes before going inside.

Jared and Mom - Jacksonville

We went to straight to Jared's room but soon left. We tried to help Grace change his diaper but the dialysis machine went off and Jared looked uncomfortable so we left. Another nurse came in to help Grace. We came back soon after and sat with Jared until time to leave at 6:30.

Rhonda and I left. We went to eat and got back around 8:30. William called when they reached home. He checked the mail and found that someone had sent a $100 bill with a note saying it was a gift from God.

We sat with Jared until 10:30. Rhonda left earlier for a little while to call home. We went upstairs, watched a little TV and fell asleep.

__________________________________________________________

My special Mother's Day Card...

Card Front

Inside

March 30, 2002 (Saturday)

Day 35

Today began around 8:00. I woke up and hurriedly went to check on clothes in the dryer. Rhonda and I took our showers and then left for the hospital.

When we arrived, Rhonda went upstairs and I went to Jared's room. No one was there except William and Pastor Lynn. Dr. May came by soon after and said that Jared was the same. He talked for a few minutes and then left. Brother Orville had already left to go to the waiting room. Tom and Dess arrived soon after.

I sat with Jared most of the morning. Pastor Lynn left and soon Aunt Elsie arrived with Linda, Carl and Rachel. Grandpa Lavender came with Elsie too. David, William's brother, had arrived the night before with his friend, Tammy. They all came in to see Jared.

The burn nurse came to check and change Jared's dressings so we all left to have lunch. When we came back, Jared had his eyes open and seemed to follow us around the room. Mandy went back with me to see Jared. We all took turns seeing Jared until visiting hours were over at 2:30. We visited in the waiting area and then I went upstairs to take care of a few errands. I ended up falling asleep. Adam and Rhonda came up and we talked for a few minutes.

I went back downstairs a little after 4:00. Aunt Elsie, Grandpa Lavender, Gerri and families had already left. We all sat around and I went back to sit with Jared. He was biting his tube but was still looking and nodding sometimes.

At 6:15, William came in and told me to leave. We all soon left to go to Walmart and then eat. We went with Mark, Joyce, Debbie and Patrick. Everyone else had left but Tom and Dess. William stayed with them. While at Walmart, I bought Easter candy and items for Adam and Jared's baskets. I bought an egg coloring kit so we could color eggs when we all went home.

We got back to the hospital around 8:45. William told me that Jared was resting so I shouldn't wake him. I went back and checked on him and then we all left. Dess came back to the Hope Lodge with us while Tom stayed with William and Adam. We played Yahtzee and talked for a while. It is now almost 2:00. 

Today was quite a day. At times it was overwhelming to have so many family and friends visiting.  I have been in the hospital for almost five weeks and most of it alone. It was good to see everyone and that they all cared for Jared and wanted to show their support for him.

Jared's bilirubin and ammonia levels dropped a little today.

Our Family and Friends in PICU Waiting Area

*Lord, I thank you for Jared. I thank you for his will and his spirit. I pray, Lord, that you'll have your way in him. Draw him by your Holy Spirit. Quicken his body and bring healing to him. Have your way in his life. In Jesus name. Amen.

March 29, 2002 (Friday)

Day 34

Today we woke up at 7:40. My mom called to see what was going on. I filled her in on the latest. We got our showers and got ready. On the way to the hospital, we went by Starbucks for coffee.

On the way to the stem cell room, we ran into Dr. May and associates. I hurriedly put my things away and then went to PICU. When I arrived, William was standing outside listening to the doctors. I decided to come on in the room and wait for them. They finally came in and said they were going to start giving Jared heparin shots. Heparin is used to treat and prevent blood clots in the veins, arteries or lungs and is also used as a blood thinner. They feel that waiting for Jared's liver to clear is more of a risk than bleeding.

Dr. May left and William did soon after. I sat with Jared. The nurse was busy today. Jared needed a lot of attention with meds, etc. His bilirubin level was 29.8. His ammonia was also high.

I stayed with Jared until 12:00. William came in and I went to lunch with Rhonda and Adam. Rhonda said that Pastor Lynn called and was going to come today. I went back to Jared's room and sat with William. Rhonda has decided to stay until Monday. I am glad.

I kidnapped William and went back to the Hope Lodge for a break. We went back to the hospital around 4:00. While we were gone, William and I talked about Jared and how things were going. We also decided that if anything happened to either of our children that we would bury them where we lived at the time. I'm glad that we had both already thought about it and made the same decision. We've moved many times over the years so we felt that would be best for our family.

We went back to see Jared. Rhonda and Adam were in there. The curtain was pulled so I hurried to see what was going on. They were putting bandages on Jared's skin. He is having skin problems.

William was exhausted so he left and I sat with Jared until 6:30. Adam and Rhonda came up just before visiting time was over. I asked them if they wanted to go to Chili's. William was asleep. I talked with Barbie and Merle. William woke up before we left. He decided to stay at the hospital. We ate and then came back. William was still on the 6th floor working on laundry.

We saw Pastor Lynn's van on the way inside so went to PICU. He and Brother Orville had already went in to see Jared. We all visited taking turns going to Jared's room. At 10:30, we went to the stem cell room.  Rhonda and I left for the Hope Lodge. We played Yahtzee and working on laundry. It is now a little after 1:00. We are both exhausted.

*Give us all good sleep, Lord. In Jesus name.

Jared's bilirubin level is now 27. I miss him.

________________________________________________________

Letter to Dad... 
(William was working out of town)

Dear Dad,
   I really miss you and I hope you come home soon. The last four nights we have been taping Zorro. Then we watch them the next day. I bet Rudy miss you too. I love you.
Love,
Jared

William & Jared (Birth Day)

Jared's Journal (4th Grade)

Jared's teacher would write a topic on the board each day and the students would write it down in their journal and then answer...

If you were a fish and could talk to humans what would you say?
Why do you always eat my friends.

List the three most important people you know. Then explain why.
The president and my mom and dad.

Do you think you have a lot of self confidence? Explain.
Yes because my parents always tell me to have confidence in myself.

What is the hardest decision you ever had to make?
My hardest choice was when I could either go fishing or shopping. I chose to go shopping.

What 's the worst part about being sick? Explain.
When your sick you have to come back to school and do a bunch of work.

Explain what you think is the meaning of the saying "Beauty is only skin deep."
You should be nice on the inside too.

What happened the first time you went swimming?
My dad had to save me from drowning.

What are the advantages and disadvantages of being an only child.
If you are an only child you don't have anybody to blame stuff on but if you are an only child you won't get in fights.

If you were on a deserted island what three things would you take and why?
Food, drink and air conditioner

What do you think would happen if all the clocks and watches suddenly turned backwards.
Time would go backwards.

What makes you special or unique?
I was born on Mother's Day.

Who is your best friend?
My best friend is Cory Renella because we know each other very well.

Sangster Band  - Recorder Time

Write a description of a family member. Include their looks.
My Dad.  He wheres glasses and he tall. He has blond hair and he's very nice.

Explain what you like and dislike about your name.
What I like about my name is that it sounds neat and it sounds cool.
What I dislike about my name is that people always spell my name wrong!

Write 5 sentences about your worst fear.
One time in Ocala I saw a huge spider by my bed. I was very scared. Then it started to crawl around. It wasn't a pretty sight when my dad got it with the vacuum cleaner.

March 28, 2002 (Thursday)

Day 33

Today began around 9:30. I guess we were really tired. We got up (Rhonda and I) and got our showers. We got to the hospital around 10:30. William had called and said that Jared had responded to him a little this morning. I went to the 3rd floor and got the update for the morning. Jared's bilirubin is now at 24.8. We are now at Day 15 after transplant. They changed his forced breaths to 10 per minute on the ventilator so he wouldn't have to work so hard. There is now a little blood in his lungs (or at least the tube) and he looks rough but it is nice that he is responding to us. I left around 11:00 while they suctioned his tube. They had also given him albuterol.

Rhonda and I went upstairs and I sent an email update. I thought that William and Adam might be there but they weren't. We came back downstairs and I went back to Jared's room. William was with Jared so I was able to see him and Adam. We talked for a few minutes and Adam went back to Children's Harbor. I came out and Rhonda went back. It is now 12:30 and we are about to get lunch.

*Lord, I thank you for Jared. To look at him, he looks rough. Lord, please touch his body. I pray for healing for his liver and kidneys. I pray that his levels will fall to normal ranges. I pray that his liver will start to function properly. Have your way in him. Bless him and draw him close to you. Bless, William. Bless Adam. Watch over them. Draw them to you. In Jesus name. Amen.

4th Grade 

Rhonda and I went upstairs and then went to get lunch. We decided to go to the cafeteria. While we were eating, Dess called so I talked with her for a few minutes. We finished lunch and then went back to PICU. Rhonda decided to go back to the room.

I sat with Jared and William. We left at 2:30 and went back to the room. We all laid around and took a nap. A little after 4:00, I went back to sit with Jared. Dr. May came by and said that Jared is doing well, etc. He was glad to see that Jared responded to him this morning. He took the stitch out of Jared's arm. It bled a little so I put pressure on it.

Pastor Lynn called today as well as others. William's boss from the Foley store also called to check on Jared. I think that made William feel better. Jared looks rough. His skin is peeling in some areas. His eyes are purple, below and above. He has sore places on his skin. It is sad to see Jared like this but I know he will get better. Brother Lynn told Rhonda today they had a prayer meeting last night. They prayed for everyone that is sick. He also said that he was the one that notified the church here about Jared.

It is now almost 6:00. Visiting time is over at 6:30. It is comforting for me to be here with Jared. I think he knows that I'm here. William came by and said he was going to get a haircut. I guess Rhonda and Adam are upstairs. Rhonda will be leaving tomorrow.

*Lord, I thank you for the peace and comfort that I have. I pray for your will in this family. I pray for salvation and healing. I pray for your will. Have your way. In Jesus name. Amen.

I stayed with Jared until 6:30. Rhonda came down for a few minutes with William and Adam. We all went upstairs and I called and ordered pizza. We watched Survivor while we ate. Rhonda had given Adam a haircut earlier.

William went back to see Jared after eight. We cleaned up and then Mrs. Weaver called. I talked with her for a few minutes and then went back to Jared's room. I realized while talking with her that Jared was not receiving any treatment for his liver. We are pretty much waiting for his liver to open up and start working.

*Lord, I know that you are our creator. Have your way in Jared. Touch him and bring healing. In Jesus name.

I went back downstairs and sat with Jared until a little after 10:00. His bilirubin level is higher as well as ammonia. Rhonda and I left soon after. We went to the Hope Lodge, played Yahtzee and are now laying down at 12:30.

*Lord, I pray for your will. Have your way. In Jesus name. Amen.

_______________________________________________________
From: Lisa and Family
Date: March 28, 2002  12:44 p.m.
Subject: Jared

Hello everyone. Hope that all of you are well and ready for the Easter holiday. Jared is still in PICU on the ventilator. He has been on dialysis since Tuesday and that is helping his kidney functions. Some of his liver numbers are rising but overall Jared is still the same. He is getting more alert so the nurses are sedating him for comfort in case of pain and so he will not try to pull out any lines, etc.
Thank you for the many calls of support and the many prayers on Jared's behalf. I know that he will pull through and get back to the life he enjoys.
Take care and God Bless All of You.

From: Wayne, Donna & Allie
Re: Jared

Lisa and Family,
Our prayers are with all of you. We check our email daily to hear news of Jared's condition. He has had to endure so much at his young age. He is such an inspiration to all of us. If you need anything please do not hesitate to call on us any time. Please give Jared our love.

From: Wendy, Eric and Madison
Re: Jared

Lisa, William and Gang,
Thank you for the update. I well remember very difficult days when Daddy was so sick. ICU family waiting is so exhausting, mentally, physically and emotionally. But I always took great comfort in the FACT that when I could not be in his presence, God was there. When I could not hold his hand, God could. When I could not speak to his ear, the Holy Spirit was ministering to his spirit. I know the same is true for Jared. And, for you, I praise God for Jared's increased alertness, and that the dialysis is effective. We are praying for you constantly, and so are many prayer warriors in North Georgia. Update us again when you can. We love you all very much.

From: Mark
Re: Jared

Hi. Thanks for the update. We have pretty much been thinking that no news is good news. I had hoped that he would be chasing the nurses by now but it's apparently going to take a little longer. Love, Mark

From: Debbie, Danny & Lynn
Re: Jared

Thank you for the update. Stay strong. We'll keep praying. We love you all!

From: Helen & Jennifer
Re: Jared

Lisa,
We are still praying for Jared as well as for all of you. My heart goes out to you - but Jesus can do miracles. I am praying for a Miracle.  Love you all and may God Bless!

From: Frankie and Family
Re: Jared

Lisa and all,
We love you! The prayers won't stop, and I have many, many praying for you all. Thank you, for taking the time to share updates - we think of you so much - it is so good to hear from you any time. I won't call, even though I have the number, because I know that you already have many calls, but don't think that means I'm not thinking of you all of the time. Take gentle care of each other - I know you are. Thinking of you, and praying hard.

Grandma's House - 2000

From: Donna
Re: Jared

Hey Lisa and all. Thanks for keeping us up on Jared's progress. You are in our thoughts and prayers each day. I have called my team of teachers and they each have called their church's prayer chains and put Jared on them. He will be just fine! He is gaining a lot of strength from all the prayers and people who love him. You are in my thoughts, Lisa. Dan said to tell you he is praying for you and Jared day and night. He is also having everyone he knows praying for Jared. Dan also said for you to remain strong. He sends his love to you. We'll check on you later Lisa.

March 27, 2002 (Wednesday)

Day 32

Today began around 9:00 a.m. We slept well but did wake up a few times. Momma needed some Tylenol around 5:00 because her side was bothering her. We all took showers and then went by McDonalds before going to the hospital. William had called and said PICU was closed because they were helping another patient. We sat in the waiting area. Rhonda and Momma went with William to get something to eat. I waited so I could see Jared. They finally opened up the PICU and I went back to see him. The nurse said he was doing well; that he'd had a good morning. I sat in there for a while.

William came in so I went upstairs and started working on laundry. I also cleaned up the room. While I was there, Pastor Lynn called as well as Darla. After I washed and dried Jared's comforter, I went back downstairs. I saw Selena and Della walking back to Jared's room so I sat down in the waiting area and waited for them. When they came out, I told them goodbye and then went back to see Jared. Rhonda came back too and helped me change his comforter. I like to keep one of his comforters from home on his bed.

William had taken Adam to the Children's Harbor next door so he could hang out for a while. They have computers, games, fun stuff for the children and their families.

Momma went in to see Jared and then it was 2:30, time to leave. We sat down in the waiting area for a few minutes and then went upstairs. William went to check on Adam. We visited for a little while and then went to the lobby to wait on Selena. Momma, Selena, Della and the babies (Matt and Little William) left for home. Rhonda and I went back to our room upstairs. PICU was closed because one of the patients had died.

Harry, from one of the local churches, brought dinner for us around 6:00. He stayed and talked for a few minutes and then left. At around 6:25, William and I checked to see if we could go back and see Jared. The lady in the waiting room said yes and we went back. We stayed for a moment and then had to leave again.

William and I went back upstairs and ate dinner. It was really good. We gave Angela and Oliver's mom a plate. We all went to Shoney's for fudge cake and got back around 8:45. Adam and I went in to see Jared. Adam stayed for a few minutes and then left. Rhonda came next and then William. Michelle and Pastor Lynn called to let us know they spent time in prayer for Jared during the Wednesday night services. Mrs. Weaver, Jared's tutor, also called and said the same.

Kay, the nurse, said that all of Jared's numbers were dropping but the bilirubin. It is now at 23. Jared seems to be responding more. Kay had given him morphine because he was getting too active. She asked him a question and he nodded his head no. William noticed that he was bleeding where an IV had been so Kay cleaned it. We stayed with Jared until 10:30. We went back to the room and then Rhonda and I left. William and Adam walked us to the car. We went to the Hope Lodge and played Yahtzee and talked. It is now 1:30.

*Lord, I thank you for Jared. I thank you for my whole family. Bless him and hold him. Have your way. In Jesus name.

_______________________________________________________________
Tonight I'm going to share the words of a friend and her experience in 2003 with the American Cancer Society's Relay for Life.

The trophies that are represented on this table are here in memory and honor of those who have lost their battle with cancer and those who are still in the fight.  Our campsite was decorated as A Walk to Remember / I Will Remember You!

Baldwin County Highway Dept
Relay Camp 2011

This trophy was won in memory and honor of those individuals. The other trophy was won due to the laps our team walked during the Relay. This was 507 laps. relay for Life starts at dusk and ends the next morning. The light and darkness of the day and night parallel the physical effects, emotional and mental state of a cancer patient while undergoing treatment.


The Relay begins when the sun is setting. This symbolizes the time that the person has been diagnosed as having cancer. The day is getting darker and this represents the cancer patient's state of mind as they feel that their life is coming to an end.


As the evening goes on it gets colder and darker, just as the emotions of the cancer patient does. They become exhausted, some sick, not wanting to go on, possibly wanting to give up. As a participant, you have been walking and feel you are tired, want to sleep, maybe even want to go home, but you cannot stop or give up. For this one night you can walk for those who can't.


Why did I become involved in the Relay for Life. I first became involved in honor of Jared but God had other plans for Jared so it then became in memory of Jared. Through Jared's dedication to God with his "No Fear" attitude I wanted to do something in his honor. While Jared will not see the cure for cancer, I can walk in his memory yearly to continue the legacy that Jared left behind of hope. I say the legacy of hope because due to Jared battling cancer I walk for the American Cancer Society in memory of him, raising money so that a cure can be found and others do not have to face what Jared went through. That is why I say Jared left behind a legacy of hope! Because if it would not have been for him, I would still be sitting on the side-lines and not walking the track in honor and in remembrance. Jared left behind a Legacy of Hope and a dedication of "No Fear" to God. I will remember you!

March 26, 2002 (Tuesday)

Day 31

Today began around 6:30. My stomach was hurting so I tried to go back to sleep but couldn't. Rhonda and I left around 9:00 for the hospital. Jared was pretty much the same. It was hard to see him like that.

Dr. May came by with news that we didn't want to hear. He said Jared has a 50/50 chance of making it. His liver has been damaged by the VOD and will probably end up in the severe range. Dr. May then said Jared's kidneys were having a hard time so they were going to start dialysis to help him. I was upset and tried to hold back my tears. William kept asking questions so I finally just turned my head and waited for Dr. May to leave. He finally left and we talked about what the doctor had said.

William went out to the waiting area and started sending everyone back. My mom, Rhonda, Wanda, Michelle. They all came in to see Jared. My mom, Selena, Della and the babies had just arrived at the hospital. Selena and Della came back to see Jared too. It was really hard for them. It was getting close to the end of visiting hours so we decided to get something to eat. Rhonda said she would stay with Jared. Adam and I went with Wanda, Michelle, Tasha and Kim to the Chinese restaurant. We had lunch and then went back to the hospital.

I went back in to see Jared and then waited in the lobby while they placed his line for dialysis. They finally came out and said they were finished. Wanda, Michelle, Kim and Tasha left for home. Rhonda, Adam and I went upstairs. William was already upstairs. Momma said she would stay in the waiting area.

I talked with Angela and filled her in on the latest. I fell asleep soon after and slept until 5:00 or so. William had left around 4:00 and went back to Jared's room. I got up and went downstairs. Momma, Selena, Della and the babies had left to get a hotel room and William was with Jared. I went back to see Jared and read the Bible to him for a while.

Our boys

We left Jared's room at 6:30 for the next nurses shift change. We all went to the lobby to wait for Momma, the girls, and babies so we could go eat. It was close to 8:00 when we left to go eat. We had a good meal and then came back to the hospital. Della and Selena took the babies back to the hotel. We all took turns visiting with Jared.

The nurse had checked his blood levels and said that it looked like the dialysis was helping his kidneys. William asked her what she would be concerned about. She said Jared's liver and the fact that he was still so sleepy and unresponsive. We left at 10:30 and went upstairs. Momma, Rhonda and I went to the Hope Lodge. We talked and played Yahtzee. It is now 1:45 and time for bed.

*Lord, I thank you for this day. I thank you that Jared is in your hands. I pray that you'll touch him. Have your way. In Jesus name. Amen.     _____________________________________________________________

If you're read Jared's Story for a while, you can see that things have changed at the hospital.  We've went from being in the same room with Jared 24/7 to now having to leave him during nurses shift changes, etc.We are no longer his primary caregivers. He is now taken care of by the PICU nurses.

We've also had family and friends visiting.  The PICU only allows a few visitors at a time so everyone has to take turns visiting with Jared.

Jared was unresponsive the first few days in PICU. We talked to him and loved on him and supported him as always.  He is our hero.

March 25, 2002 (Monday)

Day 30

Around 6:00 a.m., they finally let me in to see Jared. It was shocking to see him laying there with the tube in his mouth and to see the dried blood on his face. The nurse gave me some tissue to wipe my tears. Jared was not responsive. I asked a few times about Jared feeling pain and if he knew the tube was in his throat. The nurse said they would make sure he was comfortable.

I had to leave at 6:30 a.m. for the nurses shift change. The doctor came in and then left. Rhonda and I went up to the stem cell room. I went to the family restroom and cried for a minute. Stacy helped me to push one of the folding chairs into the room for Rhonda. We laid down. I cried myself to sleep.

William and Adam arrived at 8:00.  Adam laid back down to get a little more sleep. I laid down again but soon got up and went downstairs to PICU. Dr. May came by and said that Jared was sick and that we would have to take things one day at a time. The doctors had their rounds and then Dr. May came back and said they were going to get an ultrasound on Jared's liver and a cat scan on his head. Tom and Dess arrived while the doctor was there.

After he left, we all hugged and they talked to Jared. They (William, Tom and Dess) left to get something to eat. I stayed and then went with Jared to get his cat scan. I met William on the way back. He went with Jared and I went upstairs to try and sleep. Tom and Dess were there and we talked for a few minutes and then Rhonda and Adam came in. They had went to get lunch. Tom and Dess left and we all settled down for a nap.

Hunting Trip - 2000

Rhonda sent an update email for me and we watched Trading Spaces and rested. We then prepared to go back to Jared. When we arrived, William said that Jared had just come back from getting the ultrasound. They took him to the x-ray room because they needed better pictures. I sat with Jared while William went back and forth to the waiting area. Adam stayed with me. We talked to Jared.

William came and said that there were a lot of people in the waiting area to see us and Tom and Dess were preparing to leave. Melanie and family were in the waiting area. They all visited with us and Melanie came back to see Jared. She prayed and then she and Rhonda went to get William because Dr. May had come to Jared's room. He said that the cat scan was normal. He also said the ultrasound didn't show anything but Jared still had VOD.

After the doctor left, William said my dad, Mark, and stepmother, Joyce, were outside. He went back to the waiting area and started sending family and friends back a few at a time. We stayed with Jared until the next nurses shift change.  It was time to eat so we all left to get food. Tom and Dess had already left. Mark, Joyce, Debbie and Patrick left after we ate.

We went to the Hope Lodge to get a room and then back to the hospital. We all want to see Jared again. He now has a feeding tube and they were x-raying to see if it was working. Adam left to go to the stem cell  room where Rhonda was. William and I visited with Jared and then left. I told the nurse to call me if there were any problems.

I went upstairs and talked with Angela. Then I packed up and Rhonda and I left for the Hope Lodge. William and Adam were staying in our stem cell room at the hospital. We ran into Wanda, Michelle, Kim and Tasha from church. They came with us to the Hope Lodge and we all talked for a while. They left and Rhonda and I played Yahtzee and talked. It is now almost 1:00.

*Lord, please have your way. Help me to remain steadfast. Help me to love you with my whole heart. Have your way in Jared. Give him, Adam and William good sleep. In Jesus name. Amen.
__________________________________________________________________

From: Rhonda
Sent: Monday, March 25, 2002  2:30 p.m.
To: Family and Friends

Hello everyone. This is Lisa's friend, Rhonda. I just wanted to update you on the latest concerning Jared. Around 12:30 a.m. this morning, Jared was transferred to ICU. He was having trouble with his breathing due to his throat being filled with thick phlegm and blood. Being too exhausted, he wasn't able to cough to clear his throat. He had very labored breathing for about six hours prior to this. The doctor's thought it would be best to put him on a breathing machine to give him a break from the stress of labored breathing. Jared is also having some serious complication with his liver and kidneys. He is resting with sedation. Please continue to pray for his complete healing. I will update you as soon as I get more information. Thank you for your prayers. Rhonda

From: Frankie and Family

We are praying hard, and have our prayer warrior friends and relatives praying as well. We love you all.

From:  Louise (Transplant Coordinator) 

Dear Rhonda, Thank you so very much for keeping us updated even if the news is not the best. Please give Lisa and Jared our fondest regards. Let them know everyone here is keeping Jared in their thoughts, hearts and prayers. Please continue to let us know what is happening. Also how is Adam and William, please give them our regards as well... take care...

From:  Diane

Dear Rhonda and Lisa,
Thanks for the update. We are praying fervently down here, for Jared and the family. We really appreciate the updates, praise God for email.

From: Valarie

Thank you Rhonda, for the update. I realized this morning that we hadn't had an update from Lisa in a few days, and I had a bad feeling about it. I was planning on typing her an email when I got home. It doesn't sound very good, does it?  With a 7 year old daughter that is my life, I can only imagine how hard this must be on Lisa. How's she holding up? Is William there with her?
I'm rambling here with my own thoughts, knowing you probably wouldn't have time to answer, but please do keep us all updated when you can. Thanks so much.

March 24, 2002 (Sunday)

Day 29

Today began around 7:30. I got up, took my shower and then got dressed.  Rhonda and I left the Hope Lodge and arrived at the hospital around 9:00. William and Doug were in the room with Jared. They had a pretty good night. They had changed Jared's diapers a few times and but were able to get some sleep.

Rhonda and I went downstairs and ate. We then traded with William and Doug so they could go eat. Dr. Lucas came by and said that Jared's kidneys were having trouble as well as his liver. He also said that everyone would be helping me the next few days.

William and Doug came back from eating and then Doug and Rhonda went to the family room. They came back and said Rhonda was going to stay with me until Friday. She and Doug left for Montgomery to pack.

William and I talked for a bit and then he left. Jared slept for a little while and I napped with him. When he was awake, I talked with him and tried to help him rest. He was pulling on everything. He sometimes used a breathing mask and was pulling on that too. Other than that, the afternoon was quiet. William had told everyone to not let me change any more diapers so April and Brandy did most of that for me.

Rhonda arrived at 5:00. I had asked about her sleeping in the family room tonight. They said that would be okay. I planned on calling the Hope Lodge tomorrow to get a room if available. April gave Jared a sponge bath and I changed his dressing.  Barbie became our nurse at 7:00. She began preparing Jared for medicines, etc. The Academy awards were on the TV.

Jared needed two bags of plasma and two bags of blood. Barbie stayed in the room quite a bit to watch while Jared received the bags. She noticed that he wasn't urinating so asked the doctor if she could give him lasix. He said yes.

Rhonda and I had ordered food so it was soon delivered and we ate. As the night progressed, Jared's breathing became more rattled. His lungs sounded clear but his throat area had a lot of mucus, blood, etc.

Around midnight, Barbie went to get the doctor so he could listen to Jared. He agreed that his lungs sounded good and suggested that Barbie clean out Jared's mouth with the suction tool. She said no because she thought he wanted her to suction down his throat. He did not like her response and then proceeded to do the same thing that she had already done. Barbie told him that she had already done that. He then said they had miscommunicated.

He left soon after and then came back with a smaller suction tube. All through this, Jared's oxygen saturation went up and down from 85 to 95. The doctor tried the smaller suction tube and got quite a bit out but Jared's breathing remained ragged. They tried different breathing masks on Jared until he was finally getting 100% oxygen.

Sangster Family - Summer Vacation - 2000

Barbie looked at me and said that Jared was getting sick. I said yes but he'll get better. The other nurse came in with the doctor. He said they needed to take Jared to the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit (PICU). He called Dr. Lucas and then we waited for a room.

I cried a few times and tried to help when they were suctioning Jared. I called William to tell him. He and Adam soon left to come up.

We went to PICU around 2:45 a.m.. They quickly took Jared back and told us to stay in the waiting area. Later they came out and said they would need to intubate Jared. Dr. Lucas came out and said that Jared's liver and kidneys were both sick. He said Jared may possibly have dialysis to help rid his body of waste.

Angela came down and sat with us for a while. I had called Pastor Lynn earlier and he prayed. It is now 5:30 a.m. I'm still waiting to see Jared. I think I'm in shock.

*Lord, have your way in Jared. He is prepared to meet you, Jesus. Have your way. I pray, Lord, for total recovery. At the beginning of this, I felt that we would have a happy ending. Lord, I choose to hang on to that. Please touch Jared's body and heal him. Keep William and Adam safe and have your way. In Jesus name. Amen.

March 23, 2002 (Saturday)

Day 28

Today began around 7:00. Jared and William had a quiet night and got a little sleep. Dr. Lucas came by to see Jared.  While he was there, Jared started throwing up blood again. Dr. Lucas helped to get Jared settled and told the nurse to make sure Jared received platelets. He said that Jared's levels for VOD looked promising.

Our nurses were Brandy and April. They did a good job today. Jared was restless and fidgety most of the morning. The nurses came in to help with his care, changing sheets, etc. They gave Jared  the platelets Dr. Lucas had requested.

Jared took a small nap. His only one for the day. Pastor Lynn called and I talked with him as well as Tom and Dess. Mark also called to see how Jared was doing. I also talked with Adam and he was able to talk with Jared.

The morphine was affecting Jared even more today. He was talking about random things and could not rest. William and I took turns sitting by him to keep his hands busy.

Rhonda and Doug arrived around 3:30. We talked for a while and then Brandy accessed Jared's port for blood cultures.  That was stressful because she took her time but she accessed the first time so that was good.

Rhonda and I left to get a room at the Hope Lodge and to get a bite to eat.  While we were out, the doctor came by and told William that Jared was a little dehydrated so they were going to give him more fluids. He was also getting more frozen plasma and Vitamin K.

William and Doug went to eat while Rhonda and I stayed with Jared.  We talked with him and tried to make him comfortable. I asked the nurse if there was anything that could be done for Jared's tremors.  She said the resident doctor would ask Dr. Lucas.

Barbie is our nurse tonight. William is staying with Jared and asked Doug and Rhonda if they wanted to stay the night. They decided to stay so William asked Barbie if Doug could stay with him at the hospital.  She told him it was okay. The Stem Cell Unit has a full house. Daniel was readmitted today so there are now seven patients on the floor.

Rhonda and I went to Walmart and are now at the Hope Lodge. Doug and William are at the hospital with Jared. I called and he was throwing up in the background.

*Lord, I praise your name. I pray for your will. Have your way. In Jesus name. Amen.

______________________________________________________________

Tonight I want to introduce a phrase that many people who knew Jared during his battle will remember... "NO FEAR."  We started this battle with cancer on May 21, 2001.  I plan on sharing more about the beginning in the days ahead. For now I want to tell you where "No Fear" started.

Adam and Jared - New Bunk Beds (1991)

We began our journey on a Monday with a doctor's appointment and by Friday we were in Birmingham and Jared was having a biopsy to determine what type of brain tumor he had and if it was cancer.

We were in the hospital for a few days after surgery and then sent home to await results of the biopsy.  On Thursday we received the call.  Jared had a malignant brain tumor and would need chemo and radiation. William and I were both dazed after hearing the news. We decided to go ahead and tell Jared what the doctor had told us.

Jared was laying on a pallet in the living room floor watching TV.  I sat down in front of him and told him the news from the doctor.  I'll never forget his reaction.  He looked at me with a little grin and said, "No fear."  I was surprised by his response because "No fear" was not a normal phrase for Jared to use. After that day, "No fear" became our battle cry.

Looking back I know that God was telling us not to fear, to trust Him. Jared did just that.  He did have moments of fear but he continued to trust God and have faith in Him.

What a testimony Jared has.  No Fear!!!  May we all be able to say that with trust and faith in our God.

March 22, 2002 (Friday)

Day 27

Last night I slept more than I have lately even though the nurse woke me around 3:00 because Jared wanted me. Kathy stayed with William and Jared most of the night.

I got up around 7:30 and walked down to the room. Merle is our nurse today. Dr. May came by and said that Jared was looking good.  His platelets were up and everything else looked good. He did agree with me that Jared's stomach looked swollen. Dr. May ordered x-rays so the technician came soon after. 

We had a quiet day. I went down the hall and took a shower. William and I walked to McDonalds to get lunch and came back to eat. Merle kept an eye on Jared while we were gone. Soon after we came back to the room, Richard came by. He said that Jared had early engraftment. The stem cells he received last week were doing their job. Jared's white blood cell count was 1,690 today. Before he left, he mentioned that Jared's fluid retention was a problem.

Soon after Dr. May came in and told us that Jared had VOD (Veno-Occlusive Disease). It is caused by toxins from the chemo affecting the liver. He said Jared's bilirubin level was high. He mentioned Jared's early engraftment. I had him write down the disease name so I could look it up later.

(Veno-Occlusive Disease (VOD) is a condition in which some of the small veins in the liver are obstructed. It is a complication of high-dose chemotherapy given before a bone marrow transplant and is marked by weight gain due to fluid retention, increased liver size and raised levels of bilirubin in the blood.)


Rhonda called and said she and Doug would probably come up tomorrow. Doug's dad was buried today.

Dr. Lucas came in next and explained more about the disease and his expectations. This could be very serious for Jared. They treat it by giving the patient two medications to help with fluid loss.

*Lord, I so want to know that Jared will be okay. I'm so weary and so want this to be over for Jared and me. I want us to go home but most of all I want your will. Lord, have your way in Jared's life, touch him. I pray that the bilirubin level will start going down tomorrow. I pray for total healing in Jared. In Jesus name.

We spent the evening getting Jared ready for bed and changing diapers, etc. I asked if I could stay in the family room again instead of going to the Hope Lodge. Layla, our nurse, said it was okay for me to stay. Doug called and talked with William while I talked with my friend, Colleen.

It is now around 11:00. Adam is staying at his friend, Timmy's, tonight and will stay there until...

Jared threw up blood again and once again received platelets. His mouth is looking red and raw. His skin is okay except for under his arms and in the diaper area.

*Lord, please have your way. Anoint Jared and bring healing to his body. In Jesus name. Amen.
_____________________________________________________________________

William wrote a poem the day we left for Birmingham. He read it to me later that day after we arrived. Since that time, I've looked for the poem. In the past, when I would find an old notebook, the first thing I would do is look through it just in case the poem was in it.

Tonight as I thought and prayed about what to add, I walked in my office and noticed an old journal that a friend had given me while Jared was sick.  I looked through it and noticed another poem William had written (I'll share later) was in the journal. I kept looking and in the very back I found the poem. The poem I've searched for all these years.  William gave me permission to share tonight...

We Miss Ya

Son... 

We miss ya, 

Hurry home,

Life is not the same as when you're gone.

We've fixed your bike. 

We've cleaned your room.

We've washed your clothes. 

We need you soon.

We feel alone!!!

Your smile, Your voice, 

Your laugh and your presence...

All were missed when you walked out that door,

So our love for you is now even more!

We'll hold down the fort,

Take all your phone call.

We'll bring your mail

And even deliver your Dell.

We miss ya, Son, 

We miss ya a lot.

We miss ya, love ya. 

Jared, give it all you've got.

Stay strong for us.

Take it all in stride.

We want to be by your side.

We miss ya, Son.

Come on home.

We miss ya, Son.

We feel alone!

Get well quick.

Come on home.

We feel alone.

Hurry home! 

Jared - Jacksonville Beach (1997)

March 21, 2002 (Thursday)

Day 26

Well, after writing last night the evening continued. Jared had a few more BMs that have now turned to blood. Stacey was our nurse so she and I talked while we helped Jared. He was trying to suction his mouth but the mucus was so thick he was having a hard time. Jared was also having trouble breathing through his nose. He kept trying to get the blood out but didn't succeed. Finally, he dozed off around 2:30.

I laid down then but got up a few times to help with diapers and when Jared needed to be suctioned. We were up for the day around 7:00. Dr. May came by and I filled him in on Jared's night. When Jared first awoke, he tried to get up not remembering that he had a diaper on. He was talking about Adam and William. I really couldn't understand what he was saying. He drifted off again right before Dr. May came in.

Jared's nurse today is Grace. She has a lot of experience with patients losing blood she said. Jared threw up again. This time there were big clots in it. His BMs were also bloody. Grace went to get Dr. May so he could see the blood. They are thinking the mucositis has inflamed Jared's whole digestive track and he is bleeding because his platelets are low.

I called William earlier at home to tell him what was going on. I then called him at the work. He has decided to come up today. It will probably be late tonight before he gets here. The doctors are giving Jared more platelets and then some blood to help replace what he has lost. I called and talked with Irene and asked her to put Jared on the prayer chain.

Today my maternal instinct kicked into higher gear. I sat right beside Jared's bed and didn't leave.  I started reading from the book of Joshua in the Old Testament.  The words strong and courageous are used over and over in the first chapter. God was speaking to both of us. I was so tired that I laid my head on the side of Jared's bed for a few minutes.  He reached over and started patting my head. It really touched me that he wanted to comfort me.  The morphine is affecting his behavior but he still knew his Mom needed a little pat.

Pastor Lynn called later and prayed for Jared while I laid my hand on him. He said that he would call the church leadership and have everyone standing in the gap for Jared. I talked with Rhonda for a minute but had to go when Pastor called. David, William's brother, also called a little earlier. I told him what was going on with Jared. Jared is still having BMs but is now getting platelets. He will get two units of blood next.

*Lord, I pray for your will. I thank you for this day. I thank you for your mercy and love. Please touch Jared today. Stop the flow of blood. Let the platelets do their job and help him. I pray for your will. In Jesus name. Amen.

It is now 11:45 p.m. This day has flown by. I checked my email around 12:00 and an email from Wanda really ministered to me. Jared was in pain and having bloody BMs most of the day. Darlene came in to help change his diapers. Grace came in and out during the day. Later in the afternoon, William called and said he was on his way. Karen Braune also came by to check on Jared. She tried to reassure me that what Jared was going through was normal. I talked with her for a little while and shared that we didn't realize how hard things would get for Jared, that we could have been better prepared and given more information.

Dr. Reddy came by a little later. She looked at Jared and talked for a little while. She said she was going to present a paper in April on Larry and Jared and how their treatments were so similar. I told her that would be fine. She also reassured me that everything was normal. Melanie called soon after and I talked with her for a few minutes. Rhonda called to tell me the latest there. The wake for Doug's dad is tonight. Jonathan Abrego, a young man from our church, called later to check on Jared. He said that he would help William with whatever he needed. I called and talked with Adam. He is going to stay with his friend, Josh, while William is here.

Throughout the afternoon Jared had bloody BMs and threw up again but not quite as much. They upped his morphine because he is feeling more pain. Dr. May came by late in the day. He said blood was available for Jared at the blood bank. That they could stay ahead of things.

William arrived around 8:00. He looked tired and shocked by what he was seeing. Kathy, our nurse for the night, spent most of the evening in the room with us. She could see that I was exhausted so she helped William change Jared's diapers. Pastor Lynn called again and talked with William.

The evening passed quickly with bed and dressing changes and Jared using the suction wand. The nurses let me stay in the family room instead of going to the Hope Lodge. Normally they allow only one parent to stay with the patient. I'm now in the family room about to go to sleep. I am tired.

*Lord, have your way in Jared, in all of us. Have your way. Lord, I pray for Adam that you'll watch over him. Keep him safe and in your care. In Jesus name. Amen.

___________________________________________________________________

From: Wanda
Date:  3/21/2002  11:20 a.m.
Subject:  Hello

Jared, Hey Buddy!  I called your room earlier today and no one answered so I thought that I would email you.

It sounds like you have had some really bad days. I am so sorry that you have gone through all this pain. I said a prayer for your this morning. In my study today, I learned about God's sovereignty. I know it is really tough for you. I want you to know that today, I will continue to speak to God on your behalf and I will trust in His sovereignty while you and your mom try to rest and heal. Remember how Moses needed help holding his arms up during war? In a spiritual sense, I feel that I will be doing this for you today. So you rest and get well. Let us carry on the faith for you.  Love you and your family greatly! Phil 4:13  Ms. Wanda.

March 20, 2002 (Wednesday)

Day 25

Jared had a good night.  He was awake a few times for diaper changes. Overall, we were able to sleep for longer periods. He was given platelets this morning as well as plasma. The blood tests he had early this morning revealed that his blood was having a hard time coagulating. That means his blood will not gel or coagulate or the timings are off. The plasma should help. Jared is now on four different antibiotics. He is also getting medicine to help his D.

Jared had a quiet morning. Dr. May came by and didn't say a whole lot. He just confirmed everything we had already heard. Dalicia is our nurse. She helped me with Jared's diaper changes as well as Stacy during the night. They were both a blessing to me.

Darla called early to check on Jared and so did Adam. He didn't go to school today because his sinuses and stomach are still bothering him.

It is now almost 1:00. Rhonda called a little earlier to check on Jared and tell me that Doug's dad died last night. Lord, watch over them and keep them safe. I pray, Lord, for your arms to be wrapped around each one. Comfort them as they grieve and help them to remember the good times. In Jesus name.

Rhonda's pastor called to pray for Jared. He encouraged me as well as emails from Carol Johnson. Thank you, Lord, for having people pray for us. Have your way. In Jesus name.

Jared threw up blood again today. Dalacia was in our room so she helped me. Angela told me that Larry has an ulcer near his stomach. That is what is hindering his healing. Lord, I pray for Larry, that you'll touch him and keep him in the palm of your hand. Please place people in Angela's path to comfort her. Help her to be strong in you. Draw her to you. In Jesus name.

It is now 11:00. We've had another roller coaster afternoon and evening. Jared continued with fever, his nose filling with blood, messy BMs and not feeling good. His rash is looking better today, not as red.

It is difficult to change his diapers. Dalicia left at 3:00 and Phil became our nurse. I asked him once to help with diaper changing and after that decided to do it by myself.

Jared's 4:00 platelet check was encouraging. It was 64,000. It had been 10,000 this morning. Dr. May came by and said that was good. Jared's coagulation numbers were also better.

We spent the afternoon watching TV and doing everything that needs to be done in our little stem cell world. Phil came in and out giving Jared his meds, etc. William called. We talked about Adam. He also told me about plumbing he needed to do at the house.

As the evening progressed Jared's BMs looked more bloody. Serge, the doctor, came by once to check on Jared. He later came back and said that they were going to give Jared more platelets and check his numbers.  He was back down to 9,000. Jared threw up a little blood on his sheet so I decided to put him in the rocking chair and make the bed. Tameka came in later with sheets so I helped her while I also bathed Jared. I put Jared back in the bed and we changed his dressing. It is now 11:30. I'm going to try and get some sleep.

*Lord, have your way in Jared. In Jesus name. Amen.

_____________________________________________________________________

Our family moved several times when Adam and Jared were little.  They were born in Hammond, Louisiana and we lived there until 1989.  William and I had moved to Hammond in 1985 from Montgomery, Alabama where we  both grew up.  In 1989, our family moved to Slidell, Louisiana. William was moving to help open a new Albertsons grocery store. We lived there for 19 months and then it was time to move again. 



Jared and Adam - Fort Walton Beach
One of my favorite pictures

 William wanted to live closer to family so we moved to Fort Walton Beach, Florida in 1990. William once again helped to open a new Albertsons. We enjoyed being closer to family and the beach.  

Our next move was Ocala, Florida. We moved there in 1992 to another new Albertsons. Adam was in first grade. We bought our first house in Ocala. The Easter video from a few weeks ago was taken in the backyard. We lived there a total of eight and a half months. 

William was sent to Pensacola, Florida  in 1993. We enjoyed living in Pensacola.  We had a great church, great neighbors and lived closer to family.  I have great memories of our time there.

In 1995, we moved to Jacksonville, Florida.  We bought our next house, found a new church and started a new life.  The boys were involved in school, sports, church and growing into bigger boys. Our dog, Rudy, joined our family while we lived in Jacksonville.  He is now almost 17 years old.

In 1998, we moved to Robertsdale. Home Sweet Home.  We bought our next house and are still living in it.   William started working at Walmart in Foley.  Since moving here, William has worked at the Daphne, Gulf Shores and Fairhope Walmarts.  It is a good thing that Robertsdale is centrally located so we didn't have to move again. :)

March 19, 2002 (Tuesday)

Day 24

Last night was long but passed quicker than the last few. Jared slept okay. The nurses, Stacy and April, changed his diapers for me so I was able to get more sleep than I have lately.

We were up for the day around 7:30. Jared's platelet count was at 9,000 so they gave him a bag of platelets. Jared had a fever for most of the night. They tried to draw blood through one of his lines but it did not have a blood return. Lord, I pray that you'll open that line. I pray that it will begin to flow like it should.

After Jared finished the platelets, they started his meds. Kimberly and Jennifer, the child life specialists, both came by. Dr. May came later and talked about Jared's D. He once again said that it couldn't be stopped. I asked if Jared's platelet count could be checked twice a day. (He had a dramatic drop from 41,000 to 9,000 today.) They decided to test him again at 4:00.

I took a shower and felt much better. Jared slept a little but would wake with D. We once again changed diapers. Jared's skin is itchy so he is scratching a lot. He also keeps trying to clean his nose. The nurse came in and gave him nasal spray. Jared is still using the morphine pump so he is not as alert.

Darla and Irene called. I filled them in on the latest. Jared still has a fever so the nurse gave him tylenol. He checked his temp about an hour later and it was higher. The doctors decided to add a new antiobiotic and continue one they had stopped thinking Jared may have a skin staff infection. Jared did his mouth care and his mouth started to hurt more. The blue mouthwash is burning his mouth.

Richard, the nurse practictioner, came in around 3:00 and said Jared's stool culture had come back negative for bacteria so they were going to stop his D by giving him medicine. (Praise the Lord!!!)  Phil, our nurse, came in and gave him the medicine. Jared was feeling restless and was still having D. Around 4:30, Phil was in the room checking on things when Jared said he had to throw up. I ran to get a plastic container. He threw up about 175 ccs of pure blood. I looked at Phil and said, "That's not good, is it?" He said no and left the room. I immediately started praying for Jared. Lord, thank you for watching over him. Phil came back and gave Jared phenergan. He also had platelets on the way.

Richard came by to check on Jared. He stayed while Phil checked blood counts again. Jared was put on oxygen for a little while to help him breathe. He is on a lot of medications that make him very drowsy. They started the platelets. Richard came back later and said Jared's platelet count was still 9,000.

Jared stayed awake for awhile. His D was about the same. He messed the bed a few times so the aide changed his bed one time and I changed it the next. I bathed Jared and changed his dressing. He seems to be okay other than the D and bleeding and mouth sores.

I talked with William and Adam. Rhonda called later with the latest on Doug's dad. I called Darla for prayer when Jared's fever was high. I called William and asked him to tell Pastor Lynn about the platelet issue. 

Jared fell asleep around 8:00. A lady from one of the local churches brought a basketful of goodies for us. She talked with me for a little while and then they left. I came back to the room and talked with William and Adam again. It is now 10:35. Jared is sleeping but still stirring  a bit. I'm about to go to sleep.

*Lord, please give us good sleep tonight. I pray for your will. Keep Adam and William safe. Have your way in their lives. I thank you for what you are doing in all of us. In Jesus Name.

I also took a nap today from 1:00 to 2:00. I'm getting a little more rest.

_________________________________________________________________

Adam and Jared in Minnesota - January 2002

In thinking about what to share about Jared tonight, I recalled all of the fun times we had getting ready for school, church or other places.  Jared was very particular about his hair, clothes and shoes. 

When he was a little fellow, I had to tie his shoes for him every day.  He liked his laces really tight so Mom was the only one that knew how to do it just right.  Sometimes I would not get the laces tight enough so we would try again. I'm smiling as I type this.  At the time, it could be a little frustrating but looking back, it was nice to be his favorite shoe tier (if that is a word). It was also great when he learned how to tie his shoes.

Jared liked his clothes to look a certain way too.  When the schools started mandatory uniforms, Jared would always wear a white shirt. Adam always wore blue. I made sure that they had their shirt color of choice. (Smile.) Otherwise I would have at least one unhappy little fellow.

And hair.  Jared styled his hair every day. He was very particular about his appearance. After chemo, he lost his hair but by that time it didn't matter as much.  Jared would sport his favorite orange hat since he was a Florida fan. (Go Gators!)

March 18, 2002 (Monday)

Day 23

Wow! What a night! Jared was up most of the night having BMs. We finally fell asleep around 3:00 and got a few winks before getting up again. I think our total for the night was around two hours. We got up around 7:00 and then tried to nap until 9:00. Dr. May came in and said they would culture Jared's stool. He didn't offer any other relief.

Jared's white blood cell count was 290 today, 100 more than yesterday. Thank you, Lord. We spent the day going to the restroom. Jared was in pain from sitting on the pottie seat so the nurse gave us a cushion to try and help. The day progressed. I called and talked with Mom and then sat while Jared napped. He took a bath around 2:00 because his behind was hurting. He soaked in the tub for a little while. The nurse helped me by changing his picc line and biopsy site dressings. The biopsy site is still bleeding.

Jared was given platelets today. His platelet count was higher than yesterday but still below 50,000. The afternoon became more stressful as Jared continued to make trips to the restroom. He was in tears and begging for me to get medicine for his D to stop. I talked with the nurse and she said she'd tell the doctor but felt they would not stop it. Jared was really upset and said he would tell the doctor to get him something.

It finally got so bad that I asked Jared if he wanted a diaper. He said yes if it would help things. I called the nurse and she brought in a bag of diapers. We put one on and it swallowed him up. He soon became more at ease and I was glad we made that choice. Wearing the diaper took a lot of pressure off of Jared.

I made his bed and he relaxed in the rocking chair. After we decided to do diapers, things got a little better until we changed the first diaper. It took a little doing but we did it.

I talked with Angela about everything. Larry is still having problems with his breathing. She gave me some diaper changing pointers since they had to go that route also. I talked with Rhonda earlier today and then talked with Pastor Lynn, Mark, William and Adam. Pastor Lynn encouraged me with the Word and prayer. My mom called tonight and wanted to send money. I told her I was fine and to check when we get to the Hope Lodge. She said ok. I ate a frozen meal for dinner. It is now 10:45 and I'm about to lay down. Jared has a small temperature so they are doing cultures.

*Lord, I feel so encouraged and discouraged at the same time. Help me to have your love. I'm so angry that Jared is going through all of this. Please help me to forgive. Help me to take it a day at a time. Help me to use the strength you give. Lord, I love you. Thank you for dying for me. Thank you for keeping us safe. Have your way. In Jesus name.
_____________________________________________________________________

From: Lisa and Jared
Date: 3/18/2002  1:49 p.m.
Subject:  Jared

Hello again. It is now Monday, March 18; Day +5 in Stem Cell. Jared is starting to improve a little after a rough few days. We (including William on Saturday night) have spent many restless (not a lot of sleep) nights. Jared is dealing with many of the side effects from the chemo. He has some mouth sores but is on a morphine pump to help with pain. His skin has a rash from the chemo and makes him scratch a lot but he is dealing with that okay.
A lot of things are going on with Jared but overall he is doing ok for what he is going through. His white blood cell count got down to 90 on Saturday and has increased the last two days. It is now 290. Normal is 4,000 - 10,000. Hopefully that will continue. The transplant has been quite an ordeal but hopefully it will be worth it.
Thanks for the many cards you've sent and for remembering Jared. He is a strong young man. I tell him that he is my hero. Take care and God Bless You All.


From: Debbie and Danny
Date: 3/18/2002  8:38 p.m.
Re: Jared

Way to go, Jared!!!. We're cheering for you and praying for you all the time. Lynn had a friend go through this ordeal and she's a walking miracle. We know it's rough, hang tough, all of you.  Lots of love.

From: Earl and Louise
Date: 3/18/2002  9:34 p.m.

Our Superman

Re: Jared

Lisa,

Thanks for the update again. We know that you are quite strong, both in body and spirit, to be going through this with Jared. Bless you all, and we just know that God will bring Jared and you all through this. We are probably joined by many others on line who are keeping your family in our thoughts and prayers. How much longer might Jared be in hospital? Of course, he doesn't need to be leaving before he is in good condition, and feels up to it.

We love you and will keep in touch.

From: Grandma Dess and Grandpa Tom
Date: 3/19/2002
Subject: Thanks for Update!

Dear Lisa & Jared:
Thanks for your informative update on our one and only great young HERO! So glad that Jared is starting to show improvement, especially since we haven't talked to him in over a week. JARED, we love you and are so proud of you, even though we know you are going through pure hell right now. You are such a tough young man that our entire family is totally amazed at your strength and persistence over the last (soon to be) year. Keep up the good fight so we can ALL gain from your strength. I hope you know that especially your Mom, Dad and Brother all are able to keep going because you smile and love them and are so courageous. They are also fighting for you every step of the way as we are...
Much love to you both, and thanks again for updating us. Give each other a really big hug and smile for us.

March 17, 2002 (Sunday)

Day 22

Today began around 8:30 for me. I called William to see how their night went. He said it was rough. Jared got up several times to go to the restroom. One time he had an accident in the floor.

I got up and called the church to ask them to pray for Jared. Brother Bailey answered and said he would give Pastor Lynn the message. I took a shower and then left for the hospital. I got there before 10:00. William was still lying down. Jared was sleeping. Soon he was up and going to the restroom. They had given him lasix because he wasn't urinating enough. Soon he began doing both. His BM looked darker and the nurse said that was good. That meant the mucositis could be slowing down. Please, Lord, let that be so.

On the way to the hospital and when I first arrived, I was very emotional. The thought of being by myself and how things have been upset me. I was better by the time William left for home around 12:30.

After William left, Jared rested for a little and then began the marathon.   Jared and I spent the afternoon and night in the restroom. It is now 10:00 p.m. and things have finally slowed down. At one time, our nurse, Kimberly, gave me a hug and said I was a good mom. I told her that I get grumpy. She said I was doing great. 

Barbie came in and said she could get a portable pottie for Jared. I said great. We haven't used it yet. But we will soon I'm sure. Jared had about a ten minute nap this afternoon. His white blood cell count was 190 but platelets and blood were down so they gave him one bag of platelets and two bags of blood. Most of his day was spent getting something through his IV.

Richard, the nurse practitioner, came by and said that Jared's blood cultures were positive so they would continue treating him with the same antibiotics. Dr. May came by to see Jared. He spent a few minutes talking about Jared's condition. It was a busy day and flew by. My body is aching and I'm exhausted.

*Lord, I pray that you will direct our night. Please allow Jared to rest. Have your way. In Jesus name. Amen.
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Jared's 7th Grade Journal (8-15-2000)

Jared and Dad

When I have extra time I like to ride the go cart, go hunting, go fishing, go play tennis, and go play golf. When we ride the go cart sometimes my dad will come. When he comes we stop in the woods and look for deer and tracks. Sometimes we put out pears and corn. Sometimes we go hunting and we hunt squirrel, deer, and rabbit. We have to be very quiet when we are in the woods. When we go play tennis we play doubles. I like going and playing golf too. I like being able to hit the ball as hard as we want.

A Note from Lisa

Hi all. Happy Saturday.

First I want to say THANKS for all of your prayers, comments and words of encouragement along the way. I appreciate so much.

You are the first to read the words of my journal that I wrote ten years ago. Until last year, I had read a sentence or two but would always close it and plan to read another day. Last year I took this journey and read each post on each day.  It was difficult but I'm glad that I had my journal to help me look back and remember.  This year I felt that God wanted me to share my journal with you. Thanks for taking this journey with me.

The next few weeks of posts may become more difficult for you to read. I may give more detail than you want to know. I'm trying to be sensitive but Jared's story is just that... Jared's story.  All of these things happened along the way.

Over the years, I've had people tell me that they could not walk the journey I've walked.  Let me tell you that God is faithful and He will always be with each of us along whatever journey He plans for us. Will we always understand? No.  Will we always respond the right way? No. But God is always there to lead us and give us the strength and courage to make it.

In the movie The Help, the maid, Aibileen tells the little girl that she takes care of that:

"YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT."

Let me tell you the same.  You are kind. You are smart. You are important.  And you are loved.

"This is how much God loved the world: He gave his Son, his one and only Son. And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life. God didn't go to all the trouble of sending his Son merely to point an accusing finger, telling the world how bad it was. He came to help, to put the world right again." John 3:16-17 (The Message)

March 16, 2002 (Saturday)

Day 21

Last night was a long night. Jared was up several times having to use the restroom. Every time someone came in he would wake. We were up for the day around 8:00. I called William and he was on his way.

Dr. May came in and looked at a spot on Jared's arm. He decided to do a biopsy on it. We settled down and waited for William and for the biopsy. Jared napped a little and we went back and forth to the restroom.

William arrived a little before 11:00 and Dr. May came in soon after. It was a painful procedure for Jared. They put cream on the spot but that did not numb the underlying skin. Dr. May put a stitch in when he finished. The spot bled for a while. Tina, our nurse for the day, put a pressure bandage on it. It was still oozing later in the day.

Jared was very emotional after that. The tech, Tameka, came in and mentioned taking a bath or shower and he lost it. He was breathing fast and very upset. He soon fell asleep for awhile. He was given more antibiotics today because he still has a low grade fever.

William and I watched basketball and talked. William then took a nap. The rest of the day Jared slept and made trips to the restroom. Later we decided to give him a sponge bath. William helped Jared while I helped Tina make his bed and get his clothes ready. Jared settled back in bed but was getting up often for restroom breaks.

Serg, the resident, came by and decided to give Jared Benadryl and Adavar to help him relax. He soon fell asleep. Barbie is now our nurse. We talked with her for awhile about the whole stem cell procedure and that it was a lot harder on Jared than we thought it would be. It was a good conversation. Jared was soon up again and then fell asleep. He didn't want me to leave for the Hope Lodge but finally gave in. I felt that I needed a break. I left at 10:30 and plan on going to sleep after writing this. Rhonda called today with news that Doug's dad was not doing well. It has been a sad few weeks for them. Tom and Dess called and so did Danny's wife, Debbie. They (she and Linda) wanted to stop by but I suggested they wait. 

*Lord, please give me strength. I feel very weak and do not look forward to the next few weeks. Help me. Lord, I pray that you'll comfort Jared. I pray that he'll have good rest tonight and a good day tomorrow. Please protect him and enable him to heal quickly. In Jesus name. Amen.

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The Pony Tail Holder
(from Words to Encourage blog)

Jared (1989)



As a young stay at home mom, life was very busy.  My sons, Adam and Jared, were three and one years of age and kept me hopping. We were just starting the day and I was already getting a little stressed.  Before starting to take care of the daily chores, I decided to put my hair up in a pony tail.  I pulled my hair back using my hand to hold my hair in place.  I then looked on the bathroom counter for my pony tail holder but could not find it.  I looked through all the drawers, on the floor, everywhere I could think but still could not find it.  As I mentioned earlier, I was already a little stressed so this was adding fuel to the flame.  I started walking around the house, looking everywhere with my hand still holding my hair back in a pony tail.  Tears were starting to fall.  I finally gave up and sat on the couch.  The tears started to fall even more.  Then I looked up and saw Jared toddling down the hall toward me.  He had something in his hand. As he came closer, I saw what he was holding ... a pony tail holder. 

God cares about the little things and uses little people too.

"The wolf will live with the lamb, the leopard will lie down with the goat, the calf and the lion and the yearling together; and a little child will lead them."  Isaiah 11:6