March 15, 2002 (Friday)

Day 20

What a night. Jared spent his waking moments in the restroom. I laid down at 9:40 and Adam called at 10:15. We talked for a few minutes and then I went back to sleep. We were back up at 12:00, 2:00, 3:00 and 6:00. Jared needed morphine during the night. He also went to the restroom and would stay for a little while. I tried to sleep but was getting a little grumpy by morning.

Dr. May came by and said the D would probably last for a few days. They decided to put Jared on a morphine pump until he gets through the worst of the side effects. According to Christy, the nurse, it is a low dose. Jared had a fever this morning so they took blood cultures. He fell back asleep and so did I.

We got up a little before 10:00. I tried to get a shower but the timing was never right. I decided to put on a little makeup and skip the shower. Jared was sick again this morning. I guess the morphine didn't settle well.

I called and talked with Michelle and got some of the news from home. The day progressed. Christy brought in the morphine pump around 1:45. Jared has rested comfortably since. He hasn't went to the restroom in a little while.

*Lord, I feel very inadequate and overwhelmed. Jared is in pain. Help me to do what I can to ease him. Forgive me for my doubt and unbelief. Forgive me for feeling sorry for me. Lord, I'm very selfish. Help me to not be so. Lord, all I can do is pray for relief and grace and mercy. Help me to walk this. Help Jared to walk this. Help William to walk this. Help Adam to walk this. Have your way. In Jesus name. Amen.

It is now 5:40. It's been a quiet afternoon. Jared has gotten up to use the restroom a few times but other than that, its been quiet. William called and decided to wait and leave in the morning. Adam got his report card today (not very good). I spent the afternoon working on laundry and watching TV. I also played on the computer for awhile. We are at Day +2 (after transplant) and Jared's white blood cell count is at 150.

It is now 9:10. I'm almost finished with laundry. I talked with William and helped Jared with his bath and changed his dressing. He now has a 101.5 temperature. I think they will be giving him something for it soon.  Tonight has been quiet over all. As soon as the clothes dry, I'm going to sleep.

*Lord, I pray for good rest tonight. I know that it is unrealistic to think of sleeping all night but I pray that Jared will be able to rest. Lord, please comfort him. I know that you know the future and that Jared is in your hands. Lord, please give him peace. I pray that he'll heal quickly from the mucositis. Have your way. Keep Adam and William safe tomorrow. I pray that William will have a safe drive. Watch over him. In Jesus Name.
_____________________________________________________________________


Jared (4 Years Old)





Jared's 7th Grade Journal (8-9-2000)

This year I plan to be the best student I can. I am going to do my work and follow instructions. I might get in trouble a few times but I will try not to. All the teachers I have are very nice. This year is my first year in the middle school and I am still trying to learn what to do. I want to do better in band and math than I did last year. In band I need to work harder and practice more, in math I need to study and follow instructions and I need to work a lot harder. English, spelling, science and social studies are all my favorite subjects.