March 21, 2002 (Thursday)

Day 26

Well, after writing last night the evening continued. Jared had a few more BMs that have now turned to blood. Stacey was our nurse so she and I talked while we helped Jared. He was trying to suction his mouth but the mucus was so thick he was having a hard time. Jared was also having trouble breathing through his nose. He kept trying to get the blood out but didn't succeed. Finally, he dozed off around 2:30.

I laid down then but got up a few times to help with diapers and when Jared needed to be suctioned. We were up for the day around 7:00. Dr. May came by and I filled him in on Jared's night. When Jared first awoke, he tried to get up not remembering that he had a diaper on. He was talking about Adam and William. I really couldn't understand what he was saying. He drifted off again right before Dr. May came in.

Jared's nurse today is Grace. She has a lot of experience with patients losing blood she said. Jared threw up again. This time there were big clots in it. His BMs were also bloody. Grace went to get Dr. May so he could see the blood. They are thinking the mucositis has inflamed Jared's whole digestive track and he is bleeding because his platelets are low.

I called William earlier at home to tell him what was going on. I then called him at the work. He has decided to come up today. It will probably be late tonight before he gets here. The doctors are giving Jared more platelets and then some blood to help replace what he has lost. I called and talked with Irene and asked her to put Jared on the prayer chain.

Today my maternal instinct kicked into higher gear. I sat right beside Jared's bed and didn't leave.  I started reading from the book of Joshua in the Old Testament.  The words strong and courageous are used over and over in the first chapter. God was speaking to both of us. I was so tired that I laid my head on the side of Jared's bed for a few minutes.  He reached over and started patting my head. It really touched me that he wanted to comfort me.  The morphine is affecting his behavior but he still knew his Mom needed a little pat.

Pastor Lynn called later and prayed for Jared while I laid my hand on him. He said that he would call the church leadership and have everyone standing in the gap for Jared. I talked with Rhonda for a minute but had to go when Pastor called. David, William's brother, also called a little earlier. I told him what was going on with Jared. Jared is still having BMs but is now getting platelets. He will get two units of blood next.

*Lord, I pray for your will. I thank you for this day. I thank you for your mercy and love. Please touch Jared today. Stop the flow of blood. Let the platelets do their job and help him. I pray for your will. In Jesus name. Amen.

It is now 11:45 p.m. This day has flown by. I checked my email around 12:00 and an email from Wanda really ministered to me. Jared was in pain and having bloody BMs most of the day. Darlene came in to help change his diapers. Grace came in and out during the day. Later in the afternoon, William called and said he was on his way. Karen Braune also came by to check on Jared. She tried to reassure me that what Jared was going through was normal. I talked with her for a little while and shared that we didn't realize how hard things would get for Jared, that we could have been better prepared and given more information.

Dr. Reddy came by a little later. She looked at Jared and talked for a little while. She said she was going to present a paper in April on Larry and Jared and how their treatments were so similar. I told her that would be fine. She also reassured me that everything was normal. Melanie called soon after and I talked with her for a few minutes. Rhonda called to tell me the latest there. The wake for Doug's dad is tonight. Jonathan Abrego, a young man from our church, called later to check on Jared. He said that he would help William with whatever he needed. I called and talked with Adam. He is going to stay with his friend, Josh, while William is here.

Throughout the afternoon Jared had bloody BMs and threw up again but not quite as much. They upped his morphine because he is feeling more pain. Dr. May came by late in the day. He said blood was available for Jared at the blood bank. That they could stay ahead of things.

William arrived around 8:00. He looked tired and shocked by what he was seeing. Kathy, our nurse for the night, spent most of the evening in the room with us. She could see that I was exhausted so she helped William change Jared's diapers. Pastor Lynn called again and talked with William.

The evening passed quickly with bed and dressing changes and Jared using the suction wand. The nurses let me stay in the family room instead of going to the Hope Lodge. Normally they allow only one parent to stay with the patient. I'm now in the family room about to go to sleep. I am tired.

*Lord, have your way in Jared, in all of us. Have your way. Lord, I pray for Adam that you'll watch over him. Keep him safe and in your care. In Jesus name. Amen.

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From: Wanda
Date:  3/21/2002  11:20 a.m.
Subject:  Hello

Jared, Hey Buddy!  I called your room earlier today and no one answered so I thought that I would email you.

It sounds like you have had some really bad days. I am so sorry that you have gone through all this pain. I said a prayer for your this morning. In my study today, I learned about God's sovereignty. I know it is really tough for you. I want you to know that today, I will continue to speak to God on your behalf and I will trust in His sovereignty while you and your mom try to rest and heal. Remember how Moses needed help holding his arms up during war? In a spiritual sense, I feel that I will be doing this for you today. So you rest and get well. Let us carry on the faith for you.  Love you and your family greatly! Phil 4:13  Ms. Wanda.